The Relationship Between My Dad And I

People say I have no respect for him! People have always- always said that! Although he’s the best Dad ever he is flawed just like everyone else! Just watch the home movies! As a kid I was harassed by him and called stupid and dummy when I actually went to school unlike him! I liked being funny on camera and doing my own thing- but if I called him stupid for his messy garden or him not pronouncing words right- I’d be disrespectful! Oh well! I’m not perfect either! What follows are all things that mad us shaky overall between us! You see- he’s been great- especially once I was around 8 years old -but few things he’s done wrong and it caused us to fight at times-

When I was a kid I had to be scared of him! I couldn’t “swear” even though my Lebanese next door neighbors- all boys who were around 10 or 11 at the time I was 2 or 3 were doing it to everyone! I couldn’t do this or that! I couldn’t do anything really according to him!

As a little boy I held in so many grudges because of him and his ways! The first thing was the only thing that mattered most to him were his gardens! Okay- flowers are nice! But living in Lawrence- on a small strip of land for a backyard and every effing place you stepped had vegetables or fruit trees when it was already “too congested” for that crap- no! Just no! A bigger yard- fine! But the first thing I didn’t like was he made the whole yard “His”! He never once thought of me or any kids! When he bought the home in Lawrence it was 1978! I wasn’t born until 1982 and by that time he had already messed the yard up his way and it had to stay that way until 1998 when I told him “No more!” I mean- the last thing he personally installed was a grape vine with posts! All his doing and sure it’s his property! But another mess of a project! Poles to get in the way AND grapes and leaves falling ALL OVER THE small patio he made back in 1990 to make the yard look nicer- Now it was a riot! From 1996–2000 I had to watch that grapevine drop all crap all over the floor and picnic table! I never ate at it anymore! All bugs! It was the last thing to take down in 2000! When I was in Holy Trinity nobody cared to come over my house- no- not because I wasn’t popular! If I had a pool like a few others had- I would have been! I mean- let the class know you live right behind it and all they see is a mess of crap they wouldn’t want to go over either! Others had swing sets and what not and their friends always went over from school! Me- they could have cared less about a yard full of mess! My aunt who lived in a condo in Methuen saw a split entry home for sale on Pitman Street in 1980 or so- shortly before my parents had me! I think they looked at it or they said no- not sure- But they were very ignorant when it came to my “upbringing”! People compare me to everyone! Even those who lived in Lawrence with me! Parents who let their kids step all over others and then there was me who got stepped on by everyone but if I acted up or had fights at home with my parents for having to put up living through that crap they’d label me as “wrong”! Biggest flaw ever was living in Lawrence! I had to surround myself with that city for 18 years! I am not proud of a lot of it! It was the “longevity” that hurt me most! And that city! If I lived there we couldn’t move! If I went to one school I had to finish at it and it HAD to be in Lawrence! Even if I was made fun of! Lawrence had a lot of bad things going for it-For one the gangs! Then the fires! The crimes! The school systems were disgusting and very few kids had a new public school in the 1980s and 1990s! I always had schools that lacked so much!But mostly- stalkers remember me from Central because I stayed all 4 years! I should have gotten out after Freshman year! But still- we wouldn’t have moved because Dad was against it! It was all in his head not to move! After all the crap I’d been through in that city growing up and it was now 1996–1997 when I really really needed out of it!

Growing up my yard was a mess! Everywhere I’d walk in the back yard had something blocking me! Even the grass wasn’t open! Above it was a clothesline! So almost every nice day in the summer if I wanted to put my kid pool there or the sprinkler I couldn’t! Let’s not even talk about swings! I had ONE until age 6! That’s it! He made it! Out of RUGS! Cheap or what! Then he hung crap from the clothesline! Other kids had built swing-sets in their yards because we didn’t have any park in the neighborhood! ONE SWING! No slide no nothing! It was very cheap! Every spring I’d help my Dad take out the boards for the fig trees (a tiresome task he had to do every fall so they wouldn’t die) which he should have let die! Every Spring I’d tell him to cut them back because they grew a mess and he’d only cut so few branches and brag about how great they were! They would stretch everywhere-my neighbors- to the school- et! They’d get in the way of my swings at times as well! And he thought I wanted to plant these things just like him someday- WRONG! I couldn’t wait for them to be yanked out! I had to wait until I was older so I could defend myself against him!As a little boy he was like God and everything he did had to be the right way and only way and it made no sense because other neighbors were getting their kids real swing sets and pools and whatnot! I was not happy with the mess he made of our yard and I could never tell him until I was at least 9 or 10! Had we lived in Methuen we would have had the land and space for a healthy family to live in! Lawrence homes have little to no space if any! Not a good place to raise a family! There are homes that have little to no backyards! Side yards! Garages! Driveways! NOTHING! I was lucky- we had a decent small yard but my Dad “ruined it” thanks to his upbringing!Everywhere you looked he’d mess it up! Behind the garage was a small dirt strip- filled with you guess it- more PLANTS! Every spot was HIS! The yard was not big enough for a garden!Even along the cement he put tomatoes in buckets! Every place I stepped they were in the way!

As I reached my school years things just got more upsetting!

I noticed all my cousins on my Dad’s side had toys! LOTS of toys! MANY toys! Real swing sets! Real pools that were BIG! One family homes in non-ghetto cities — Oh wait- I was a “bad boy” that’s why I didn’t deserve toys! NO! It’s because my Dad was old fashioned and took after his Dad who didn’t buy him toys! That’s what you get when you get a Dad who’s like that! I had to be presentable at every Sunday dinner (most likely according to my Dad’s lame brain) just to satisfy Nonna and Nonno who really didn’t care smack of me being there! No- they would have freaking understood if we couldn’t make it! It was understandable! Things happen! If I was there or not they wouldn’t have been mad! If I was sick they’d drag me to them! It was pathetic! Dad was such a priss and for this it was not excusable to act that way! Dad would lecture me for how I ate- for how I needed to finish the food- for everything! Right in front of everyone! Like a fucking cop! I felt so STUPID! Right in front of my cousins who were “perfect” yet were much more flawed! They spoke up- acted up- teased me- And my cousins would swear at me and if I did that I would have been beaten in front of them! Their Mom’s and Dad’s let them do that to me! My Dad just smiled when he heard my two year old cousin in 1989 call me a “bitch” and all the adults just looked at me and smiled! What fun! Had I uttered one wrong thing as a 2 year old or older he would have smashed my face so bad (and would have gotten away with it like always)! At that moment I felt like smacking the shit out of my little cousin and calling him every name under the sun but I would have been scolded and beaten up by my Dad if I did that! I would then talk to my Mom about this and told her I was scared of going to anything anymore! It was torture! My aunts wouldn’t have cared! Sunday dinners thankfully stopped in spring of 1989! I think shortly after my 2 year old cousin called me a bitch! We went across the street to neighbors my grandparents weren’t talking to at the time and Nonna got mad and didn’t care regardless because we did a wrong move (no- Mom took me out to play with other neighbors because my cousins would gang up on me and verbally bash me and even my Mom would hear it and we’d take off every Sunday to walk the neighborhood while Dad petted his mother at the house!)! Nonno was more understanding though! He knew my cousins were always bad to me asa kid at times and they even pinned me once for writing all over the walls when I was a little boy when they did it and my Dad even saw them do it! But every Sunday because my Dad was a “Mama’s Boy” we never missed one dinner! My aunts at times would miss them or my cousins if they were sick OR if they had other parties (if it was a party his mother was going to be going to we’d have to go to that one over anyone elses!)- but my Dad would effing drag me! One day I was boiling with a temperature and it was someone’s party in the family in 1989 when I was 6- shortly before we stopped going to Sunday dinners (it was a party for someone’s sister of one of my Dad’s cousins who I had no effing relationship with!) and my Nonna and Nonno went as well as my aunts and cousin’s and it was in the summer and the house had a pool- Dad threw me in the stupid car with my temperature of over 100 and rolled down the windows (why I don’t know- he should have just let me croak) and my Mom had to go along with his ways and COULDN’T stay home either! Just to make good impression when it didn’t matter to anyone! NOBODY CARED! If I was sick nobody would have cared! Nobody did! If I was sick and had to stay home it would have been excusable! Pathetic or what! I ended up almost dying! It was a hot day and I stayed in the car I think and threw up! I couldn’t even make it out of the car if I recall! Nonna and Nonno didn’t even care! Dad just hung out with them and left me in the car like a good son he always was and told them I was sick in it- they didn’t even bother to come over and say hi- nobody did! Very wrong of all of them to do! Such stupid roots I had! That’s all I really remember about that day! I was burning up and to look good to his parents he pushed me there and just uttered I was in the car with a fever! It was something I will NEVER forget about my Dad! He was such an IDIOT when it came to his side of the family- thinking 100% going to something would make a good impression- It never helped because at every gathering my cousins would make fun of me at times and when my Dads’s oldest sister (the one born after him) got married- my godmother- and my favorite aunt I was closest to-all 3 of my oldest cousins got to be in the wedding and I was skipped over! I never really put much into that until around 1989 when I wanted to stop going to Sunday Dinners because his sisters planned it all that way to have their kids in it and leave me out! They were ALWAYS favorited over me as a group and did things without me! I just had to show up according to my Dad at all the crap we had to go to- dinners- parties no matter from who because we were a pathetic trio who had no life outside of his side of the family! Nonna wanted us at Christmas 1989 but Dad said no because by this time he actually saw how I was treated and my Mom at times and maybe Mom even threatened to leave him if we didn’t stop going! Hahah! My parents and I spent 1989–1992 Christmases with friends! 1989 and 1990 with our neighbor Harold and his family and 1991 with Valentino and his family and 1992 at home with Nana and Nanu! We didn’t see my aunts until my Nonna and Nonno came home from Italy in summer of 1993 after they sold their house there and by that time my oldest cousin’s had finally grown up!

My Dad had several options when I had that boiling fever! ONE- NOT GO to that party! TWO- Leave my Mom at home to nurse me back to health! THREE- Drop me off at my Nana and Nanu’s because I needed bed rest! He was the biggest “Dick” by doing this to me in this time I was very sick! He only thought of one thing “Looking good to his sisters and his side of the family” when it never EVER did when we were ALWAYS there and never missed a damn occasion until the summer of 1989 when it all stopped! He probably forced my Mom to go and to bring me and so it would look good! Look good for WHO! He wasn’t even in his sister’s weddings after the 1970s! Why- he was as Mama’s boy! That’s all it came down to! He got more of one when I was born! He even fought with my Mom once and said “Fuck the baby” and took my Nonna to Boston to shop for Prickily Pears when I was an infant- what a jerk! Not good! Not good at all! Mom told me that story and we remind him of it at times! He gets ticked but we laugh and I call him a Mama’s boy! At every gathering he was next to his mother- practically holding her hand and scolding me for me being me! How I ate! How I had to finish the food! How- if I said one thing wrong I’d be talked down to by him! And he wasn’t even a citizen! He only had the education of a 5th grader- when it Italy- 5th grade you don’t learn much! Just basic multiplication and division maths and how to read! Maybe he thought because I was still in a lower grade or not in school he was smarter and more anything than me! It was weird!

Around 1989 I still wasn’t getting many toys! My greatest joy was playing garbage barrels! Wait- too noisy! You know- I could have been “Bad” and emptied the full ones all over the place and really made a mess! But I didn’t!I improvised and pretended the full ones were empty and the empty ones were full! It made things cleaner! Still- if you watch my home movies- Dad always said NO to everything! Everything I ask him to film he’d say no! Even if it was a plant! It was so stupid!

Then there were the lies he’d tell me! “We can’t have cable! Our TV doesn’t fit it!” “We can’t have a Nintendo! Our TV doesn’t fit it!” “We can’t play store bought VHS tapes in our VHS! They won’t fit!” So he saved a shitload of money on me up until I was 8! He and my Mom had already paid off their home in Lawrence even before I was born or started school! And he was lying to me to save even more money! Believe me- I had NOTHING! I had very few toys a basic kid in Italy would have had! A ball- a bat- stuff like that- I had no ample toys like everyone else I knew!

I had 4 birthday parties ages 1–4 and then they stopped! I really should have had at least my 5th also celebrated! Nothing! My Dad knew I didn’t want Mom to make me a cake I wan’t it from the bakery- so my 5th and 6th he got away with getting not me any and she’d make gross box mix! They didn’t even get me any presents when I was 5 or 6 because “I had no party” what schmucks! When I was 7 he bought a maple cake already made I bet! It was not my flavor of choice! Yuck! 8 and 9 and 10 he bought me good cakes and around this time I started getting stuff in the stores if it was my birthday-But it was always- always just my parents and I! No friends over! That makes me feel I had no friends growing up! When I had Stefanie! She could have been invited! Or a few friends on my block! Nobody was! It was sad! It saved my Dad more and more more!

In fact- 1982–1990 when I was born to age 7 the ONLY time I got gifts were at Christmas and my 1st-4th birthdays! THAT’S IT! This is how it went- I’m almost certain until I was old enough to know who Santa was- that’s when he would get me stuff for Christmas and say it was from Santa- I want to say age 4 for sure! I don’t remember what I got that year but my 5th Christmas I got a cheap chalk board and a bear and air kiddie keyboard that sounded like crap! My 6th I got 4 games- 3 of them needed batteries which he didn’t even have! Most of my aunts when they bought me birthday gifts or Christmas-the majority went back to the store! I had ONE little closet in the den with mostly crayons and paper! I didn’t have tons of action figures! Especially my first 7 years! None! When I asked for a Nintendo he got m handheld games! When everyone else had a nintendo in the lat 1980s! Then he said it wouldn’t “fit” in our TV when he saw the price! Yet when it came time to get my cousins and aunts “gifts” for Christmas my parents- especially Dad- would shop for them first and postpone getting me anything until the end! Like they didn’t care! More money went into charity to get my “grandparents” on Dad’s side a big gift EVERY effing Christmas where my Mom’s parents got gyped with rare to nothing by my parents- again- Dad was being cheap towards me and rich towards his family! I always held that grudge in for years! Once Christmas 1988 ended- the gifts stopped with my aunts and that’s when we only bought for my grandparents and that was it! It was better because there were so many of us and it was getting so unfair to me- watching as my cousins got more gifts from Santa when I only got 3 or 4 things- mostly from a discount house or low priced game!

Watching my family movies you can tell- I didn’t have much! I had the same clothes for years until I outgrew them! I got ridiculed in school because of it! I had hardly any toys of any sort until I was 8! There were not ample toys around! Maybe a ball or basketball but mostly barrels were my toys! Dad got a hand me down 1960s bike for me from Valentino for FREE while all the kids got new bikes and parents even criticized it as a cheesy banana seat bike! Dad also was very cheap with cars! Same thing! Oldsmobile's! I wonder if they were the cheapest that’s why he loved them! And of course- Nonno had one so he had to be just like him! He even tried to get another one when we went car shopping in 1995 and I put a stop to it! I think the last Oldsmobile's were sold around that time- He went with a Crown Victoria instead! Okay- Dad did get me a scooter in 1990 when I was 8! It lasted me until I was 11! I used it more than that disgusting bike which my Dad got mad at me and criticized me that I had a bike and didn’t use it- why would I- the thing was crap! It was slow! It was cheesy! Everyone made fun of it including myself!

But in 1990 things started changing- that summer I started buying VHS tapes whenever I went to Caldor or Bradlees or Rich’s or Ame’s or K-Mart or Stuart or Ann & Hope! In 1992 I was told by classmates my Dad was lying to me about Nintendo so I finally got one! Also we got a microwave that year which was stupid because EVERYONE had one since day 1! In 1994 I called for cable and Mom agreed it was time to get it! We did it behind my Dad’s back! Still- he liked it! I mean- his parents even had cable and a microwave! Why the heck shouldn’t he!

I was never a big spender as a kid! 1 VHS tape each time we went to the store was enough! Maybe some candy and gum and cookies and maybe a CD or cassette tape or a Ninja Turtles action figure as well! Slowly I began getting stuff I wasn’t getting from ages 1–7!

But usually Dad would never listen to me! Even if I tested him! “Dad! Don’t talk! Just film me! It’s 6am and I’m tired! I don’t wanna talk!” Two seconds later after the camera starts he talks and tells me to talk! That’s what I mean! He never ever listened to me or my thoughts! If I was tired and didn’t wanna talk he told me to talk! If I was sick he’d drag me along to his parents because we couldn’t miss one day there! After my Nonno passed I finally ditched a few occasions and my Mom and Dad were upset! I mean why would they be! I had every right to! If I didn’t wanna go and wanted to stay home I very well could have!

Dad and I love watching TV together! Nowadays he falls asleep! Or I do! So it’s not as fun as it once was! We watched a lot of stuff together! Three Stooges- Are You Being Served- Cooking Shows- Home Improvement Shows- Three’s Company- Married With Children- Wheel Of Fortune! Those were some of the big ones we’d watch when I was a kid! Oh yeah- Sesame Street! He told me I liked Ernie best but he didn’t have a favorite character! We also would watch The Price Is Right every time he was on summer vacation! His favorite was Holly! I mean yeah- she was a red head- like his mother!

The best thing Dad bought was the home movie camera in spring of 1988 when I was 5 and finishing up Kindergarten! We bought a VCR I think in the fall of 1987! It would have been nicer had he bought the camera a few years before! We could have had my grandparents 40th on film- my 4th birthday on film- more videos of all my grandparents and neighbors at the time- and when the old house in Lawrence was green!

Dad sent to me to Catholic School! It was not my choice! My hope was to get out of Lawrence when I turned 10 and older in 1992! We did not see eye to eye on this until 2000! As bad as neighbors invaded our privacy or made fun of us- we had to stay! It felt like jail! Dad didn’t care how much I was hurt there in Lawrence or in the schools- by bullies! Mom did though! Dad just in one ear and out the other! That’s why things led to arguments between us- especially in 1993–1999! Like I said- give him a house anywhere and his way with a garden everywhere and no space or anything for his kid and he’d be happy! Things got so greedy that I finally put my foot down in the fall of 1997 and got rid of the fig trees! I was no kid anymore and all they did was mess the whole yard up! I re-designed the yard in Spring of 1998 with all grass! Yes- point is he cared more about those damn fig trees and tomatoes and whatnot than he did about me and you can see it in the videos he took! And he thought I actually “liked them!”I didn’t! There was not enough space for them in that small yard and he acted like a cop to me in my earliest years so when I was old enough I told him those trees and mess had to go! They were making the yard look like a freaking jungle! If we had the space- yes they would have been better if they had the space but they cut off a lot of space! I will never forget coming out of the Rollins in 5th grade one Friday in April and my Dad picking me up because he was home from work that day! “Guess what!” he really never sounded this excited before! “Oh my God! We are moving to Methuen! You saw a house you liked and bought it!” I added! He tells me “Better-” Now what could be better than that- other than winning the lottery or a lot of money! “You’re going to Holy Trinity School!” Right there my world sunk! I knew I would never escape Lawrence as a kid! And I knew that school had little to NOTHING to offer me as a student like the Rollins as it was so small!

Aside from his thinking what I’d be excited for because he was when I wasn’t at all-those are two characteristics I never liked much about my Dad- being a devoted Mama’s boy and dragging me along to everything his parents went to even when I was sick to go- and his gardens and his love for them more than me as a kid! I feel those things he cared most about when I was a kid- and it showed! Especially ages 0–6- boy did they! Every word was no from him and for the free things- like me playing barrels! I had rare toys! Barrels were my favorite toy! I did not like his fig trees and tomatoes and he STILL told me to look at them instead of playing barrels! I wanted to pull them out-that’s what I wanted to do! I was too small to then!

In high school- like I said-it was always in one ear and out the other- and I was harassed DAILY! If it wasn’t at home it was at Central and it hurt very badly! Holy Trinity I was also harassed and he kept me there! I had a horrible 8th grade experience where I came off as stupid yet for sure was 3rd top boy of the class- yet because I couldn’t even make lowest honors- not even ONCE out of the three quarters after winning every award given that year- my whole class would beg to differ!I had a higher GPA than all the other kids who were barely lucky to make lowest honors because they didn’t have A+ grades in spelling nor did they win all the awards like I won that year! Going to Catholic School was the worst thing my parents did for me! We needed out of Lawrence at that point! Not me going to a Catholic School! Had we moved to Methuen and I had gone to CGS or Timony or Tenny it would have been so much better! I would have most likely gone to MHS as well! My parents always liked Homestead Acres and that’s where we really should have moved to- if not there- somewhere near the Loop in Methuen — we didn’t care for Pelham Street area as there wasn’t much to do there! When we moved in 2001 it was nice but would have made things easier had we in 1993 or so! Still- we moved to what we always wanted- a split entry! A big back yard! Big enough for Dad to have his garden in one section! And me to have a pool or whatever! Spring of 1994- once I completed my first year at Holy Trinity- Stefanie moved to Florida with her family and my next door neighbor became an ubber brat to me! That’s the salt in the wound there for my Dad choosing to send me to Holy Trinity and not move to Methuen! The street just got worse the rest of my Holy Trinity and even high school days! Privacy issues were BAD! Kids walked all over us with the mentality my Dad had! Harassing me and both my parents and then at times- tackling ME for being “disrespectful” at my Dad! Well why not! Look at how I was treated! We insulted each other back and forth once I got older! I had enough of everyone saying I didn’t respect him as a boy when I had to fear him and he walked all over me! As I got older- his choices made me live my life the way I didn’t want to live it! I was living it the way he wanted to live it then! I was not a happy camper- especially 1993–1999!

Then during high school- Dad showed his true colors again after Nonno passed away and my Nonna got full Alzheimer’s- leaving my Mom and I for her even before his Dad passed away! The night my Mom’s Dad died Dad was with Nonna- watching her as my Nonno had just been in recovery and was coming home from the hospital a few days later from heart surgery and it was his “turn” to watch her! I had to stay with my Mom! And then when his Dad died 2 days later unexpectedly from something other than heart problems he was with Nonna and left us again! We didn’t see him for several days after! It was so stupid! Mom got a call that Nonno was being air lifted to Boston and my Dad almost teared up and rushed to his MOTHER! I mean what the heck! Why! He rushed out the door and then an hour later called and said the hospital called and said Nonno died! Dad didn’t come home for several days! SEVERAL! LEAVING BOTH MOM AND I ALONE! We had no car! Nothing! No cash! Then he comes home 3 days later and lashed out at me saying I must be happy because I would always remind him how much of a Mama’s boy he was- Boy I gave it to him! He left both my Mom and I at home alone in the summer! We had NO CAR! We had NO CASH! We had to make due with whatever food we had at home because the guy didn’t even bother to phone us and both Mom and I didn’t bother to interfere with what was going on with the funeral arrangements for Nonno- but they had to take a damn 3 days to do it!And all my cousins and everyone else from the family (even my Nonna’s sisters and their families) were there at the house with Nonna but my Mom and I! It was pathetic! All again on choices my DAD made! After that he kept leaving us and leaving us and more true colors kept repeating! I mean- if someone has Alzheimer’s they have to be put in a home! I was so upset at how Nonno didn’t want that to happen to my Nonna because Dad kept leaving us to sleep over there! I mean- who can watch someone 24–7 except a nursing facility! She almost started fires at the house and wandered off at times when nobody was around at times to watch her! Lots of fights stemmed from 1997 to 1999 because of this between my Dad and I and my Mom even knew I was right! I was such a good kid- I never hung out with anyone but my Dad and he was leaving all the time! Plus high school was NO PICNIC at this time! Getting labeled constantly- a failure at times- lied to- used- hurt by kids! Not good! Dad was just too into one thing during those years and it wasn’t me!

Then summer of 1998 happened! Dad was still sleeping over his mothers I think at the time and watching her! It got so pathetic! That summer- even when I wasn’t around for 2 weeks because of an incident where I was labeled as trying to hurt my Mom when I never did anything of the sort- he took my Mom to my cousins 1st birthday and petted his mother- as usual- who didn’t even know who he was because she was fully Alzheimer's at this time- and my Mom told them where I was! She made it seem like it was “my fault” as usual and my Dad got away with it! I will never forget all the times my Dad got away with doing stuff to me that others could have reported him for! It was as if I deserved it because I lived in Lawrence and all my neighbors liked disrespecting me and my family so when they saw it happening they thought I deserved it! More blows at me whereas other kids who were in my situation- if someone saw their parents doing what my Dad did- they would have put a stop to it! After summer 1998 this type of thing never happened again with my Dad towards me!

After we moved and high school was over my Dad and I were not as bad as we had been in Lawrence- maybe the first 3 years were an adjustment but after that- after summer of 2003- Dad and I have not really fought much and when we do it’s always in jokes and I laugh at him and his ways when he gets mad! It’s so funny nowadays! Especially with all the extra weight over the years his body carries! Growing up we never saw eye to eye! I didn’t care for gardens or fig trees! If I was sick I should have stayed home not be dragged like a panty-waste to every family event (when it’s clear I didn’t want to be there after 1988)! Dad was clueless watching my Nanu be in the nursing home for dementia but had to follow out his Dad’s wishes for 2 years that Nonna shouldn’t be put in one since he knew she was getting Alzheimer's before he passed! Plus postponing to move to Methuen and sending me to Holy Trinity and CCHS- those schools did absolutely nothing for me but shame me for all the hard work I did and lots of kids who didn’t appreciate me at them and harassed me daily! Those things- if they had been changed- might have not caused so many arguments between my Dad and I between 1990 and 1999!

Dad and I have had the rockiest relationship ever! Always ups and downs! But there have always been fun times! We could be the worst of enemies and the best of friends! It’s that hilarious! Stuff he did in the past is the past and he even knows he was wrong for some of it!

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