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Jude The Animal Expert Dude • 10

Talking to animals isn’t always fun.

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Animal enthusiasts who have followed my career as an animal expert know that I am the foremost leading authority on AT [Animal Telepathy.]

While many animal scholars have openly mocked my research in this field, secretly, I believe they would love to be able to communicate with animals as I do. So I must, therefore, pass off their criticism as simple envy.

While talking to animals sounds like a cool thing, it is not always fun and can lead to trouble. Let’s say you are hanging out with a tiger name Charlie. Suddenly you get an itch in the middle of your back that you can’t reach, and it is driving you crazy. So without thinking you say, “Hey Charlie, would you mind scratching my back?”

That’s just one example.

Here’s another.

You probably wouldn’t think it by looking at them. But most monkey jokes are not funny at all. Sometimes I can understand the urge to put them in a barrel.

And don’t get me started on alligator poetry.

My research continues. See you in the field.

— Jude The Animal Expert Dude