The One Truth in Every Self Help Book I Ever Read
I’ve needed a lot of help over my lifetime; books were the only way I could afford “therapy.” I’ve probably read hundreds with better or lesser results. I noticed one concept that runs consistently through all of them. It is the “secret” to understanding everything you wanted to know about yourself (and didn’t!) to make the change you want.
It’s been said in many ways and diagrammed in a dozen more, but it usually comes down to some version of what I call the Layered Me:
The simplest way to think of it is to say individuals are like layers of an onion.
The first outer layer is your outward behavior — that’s what everyone sees. Your kindness, your rudeness, your meekness, your confidence — all of it is the external reaction to the layers inside.
The next inner layer (green) are your values. You value people so you are kind and compassionate. You value money more than people, so people are useful objects to you to achieve your goals.
The layer around the core is your beliefs (orange.) This is often mashed together with values in the concept diagram because it’s challenging to explain the difference. Your beliefs are why you value certain things. Values are the results of what you believe. Examples:
