l labor of comforting you for your own wrongdoing or incomplet… you could have better supported them. Ask your girlfriend, your exes, your coworkers, your friends. Ask them when you are prepared to take in their feedback without reprisal, without making them take on the emotional labor of comforting you for your own wrongdoing or incomplete actions. Do not ask them to absolve you. Ask them, hear their answers, make a plan, and do better.