A startling fact literally just hit me and I feel the need to write it down somewhere,

so when I’m upset about about this subject, I will look back and read this. And for anybody else out there, especially girls, that read this I hope you do it as well if this ever gets read by any other person than me.

Naturally, as a chick living in America, I’m going to be self conscious of my body. And I’m going to go ahead and let everyone know all my numbers. I’m 5’6”, 139 pounds, and have 22% body fat. I’m not a lean, mean hottie-with-a-body machine, but I’m not soft. And for the past five months, I have been worried about my numbers; I always would compare myself to other girls. She’s taller than me and weights fifteen pounds less than me. There is no fat on her. Oh my gosh she’s my height and weighs 115 pounds. I need to be skinny. For a good solid two months, I hardly ate. I limited myself to 1000-1200 calories a day. I was in the gym for about 3.5 hours a day and on top of that, I was running 40ish miles a week. Not really the healthiest thing in the world, and my body was taking a toll. The sad part is, I saw a minimum difference in my appearance. Beside losing some fat in my stomach, I looked pretty much the same. BUT I FELT LIKE POOP ALL EFFING DAY LONG. I had no energy to do anything but sleep after all that mess I thought was giving me results. Man, I got the common cold and it took my body a week and half to finally get better. LIKE WHAT THE PISS HAVING THE COLD FOR A WEEK AND A HALF IS MISERABLE BECAUSE IT’S JUST TAUNTING YOU AND BEING AN ANNOYING LITTLE TURD.

But yeah anyway, even through those two months, I was still upset with my body. Mentally, I wasn’t healthy. Physically, I wasn’t healthy. I was never happy with myself, and every time I stepped on the scale I was faced with disappointment.

But I know I’m not alone. There are girls across this country that are experiencing this same mental “need to lose/gain weight” thing that has messed with my confidence. And I have realized something that has [currently] changed how I view my body.

That no matter what you do, in the eyes of society, your body will always be wrong. If you lose weight, you’ll be too skinny. If you gain weight, you’ll be too fat. If you’re curvy, you’re too thick. If you’re, well, not curvy, you have the body of an 8 year-old boy. And to people that have “the perfect body” they may have been blessed with a gene of sexiness that I do not possess.

And you know what? I’m okay with that. I’ve got hips that go out to kingdom come, and I’ve got a little pudge on my stomach, and I’ve got a long torso that probably is equivalent to the length of a four year old child, and I’ve got short thick legs (that are probably only thick because I’m a runner and run 50 mile weeks and have leg day twice a week), and my arms are a little buffer than the average chick. I KNOW MY FLAWS. But if I let my flaws and my body become who I am rather than just what I have, then what does that say of me?

I am more than my body. I am more than my flaws. I am me, and if you don’t want to know exactly what “me” is because of my body and my flaws, then what does that say of you?