Grieving During Covid-19
How do you honor the dead when you’re not allowed to gather?
My mom died last weekend. It wasn’t totally unexpected, but it was still a shock when it happened. She didn’t die from Coronavirus, but the process of making arrangements with the mortuary was definitely affected by restrictions related to the pandemic.
We live in Minnesota, which, relatively speaking, hasn’t been hit hard by the virus (yet). Governor Tim Walz has a stay-at-home order in place until May 18, 2020. Obviously mortuary services are considered an “essential business”, but there are extra restrictions in place for them, namely that no more than ten people can gather at a time.
My mom didn’t want the traditional wake/viewing and funeral, and all of us that wanted to view her body prior to cremation were able to do so in a single group of less than ten. But, I wondered what other families, particularly those wanting a more traditional service, were doing during this strange time we’re living in. After a little research, I found that a lot of people are opting for a virtual funeral.
We had enjoyed a virtual Easter on Zoom, but the thought of doing a virtual funeral just seemed kind of…weird. However, doing a funeral service virtually does afford families the ability to give and receive support from their friends and relatives.
Whether or not this is an option often depends on whether there is a family member who is tech-savvy enough to take care of the video and other logistics. Some mortuaries offer the technical support needed for a virtual service, but it’s not yet the norm.
A virtual service through an online meeting application, such as Zoom, offers participants the ability to share memories of the deceased and to give and receive words of support and comfort. Other families have opted to simply livestream the funeral service on Facebook.
In the end, we’re waiting until a later date. Once this Coronavirus threat is over, my mom’s children and grandchildren will gather to celebrate what was a humble and beautiful life. In the meantime, it’s all a little lonely.
