A Friday Chat About Mattresses
Megan Reynolds
2719

Nicole: I had about four simultaneous responses to the new mattress = new sheets line of reasoning. First, false logic! I mean, you want new sheets to go with your new mattress, but there’s no logical connection between the two — the sheets don’t impact your sleep, they just look funny. Follow that chain of reasoning long enough, and you’ll have to get a new apartment! Second — unless you’re planning on getting black, navy or checked sheets, the new sheets will resemble the old sheets very, very much sooner than you’ll like. And then you have to get new sheets, again. Third, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie should be the next kid’s lit book we all learn from, since it perfectly exemplifies the consumer black whole mindset of desire. Also, toddlers. Fourth, I recognize this reasoning from my own life — I can’t do X until Y, or I postpone X until . . . hell freezes over? I dunno, but there’s some part of my brain that gets off on procrastinating until I’m in serious trouble. This is particularly true with spending money (postponed $60 modem purchase until I’d rented one at $10 a year for four years . . . wtf, brain?). Finally (fifth thought) — The Billfold is wonderful. Ok, I’m done now.

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