She noticed her best friend‘s strange behavior after a doctor’s visit, but did not anticipate the weight of the situation.
“Sasha what’s wrong with you, you been in there forever!”
“Sorry I’m coming out, give me two minutes.”
Sasha came out the bathroom three minutes later, mumbled sorry, and walked to the kitchen. She went into the fridge and pulled out some bread.
“Sasha we just ate, what are you doing?”
“I just want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, that’s all.”
“You feeling okay? You’re acting weird and that’s the third time in 24 hours you’ve been held up in the bathroom like that.”
I finished up in the bathroom and called Gina so she could meet us at the subway. We were all heading to Brie’s place for a night filled with some games and girl talk. Sasha made sure we spent time with Brie after her graduation. We knew Brie didn’t mind being alone, but Sasha needed the family time, it’s part of the reason she came back to the city.
This was Gina’s first time meeting Brie and Sasha was sure Gina would like her. “Gina, Brie is like the nicest spirit there is. She‘s so welcoming, you’ll forget it’s your first time meeting her after five minutes.”
Brie opened the door with a huge smile on her face. She sat Gina and I down while Sasha followed her into the kitchen. It was nice. We played card games and I realized that Gina is a very competitive person. It was kinda sexy. Still, I kept an eye on Sasha the entire night. She was having fun, but she was fidgety. Kept getting up to refill her glass of water, went to the bathroom every twenty minutes, and I was sure I saw her pop two pills. Brie gave her one concerned look, but Sasha shrugged it off.
We walked into our apartment a few hours later.
“I love seeing Brie, makes me happy to see her good.” Sasha said as she took off her shoes. I learned something while being Sasha’s friend; the best way to ask her questions was to spring them on her. With any inkling of a warning, her answer could be very deliberate. Not necessarily a lie, but a deliberate truth. I took my opportunity.
“Yeah I love her too. She’s amazing. Gina loved her — Sasha, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been in the bathroom all day, you’re fidgety like you’re in pain, and I noticed you taking pills. You okay?”
“Oh. You noticed. Yeah I just have a really bad period, it’s kinda scaring me. It’s never been this bad, but I’m managing. You know I don’t like making big spectacles of my pain.”
“Yeah I noticed. Maybe you should go to the doctor. It can’t hurt, right? Just make sure everything is working down there correctly.”
“I will tomorrow.”
When you tell your best friend to go to the doctor about a period, you don’t think anything bad could come out of it. But as soon Sasha came in the house the next day from the doctor and went straight into her room, I knew something was up. I never pushed Sasha to tell me things. She usually would come to me about an issue with her thoughts laid out for me to analyze. My opinions carried weight for her, but I knew if she didn’t want to talk at the moment, she would later. So I let her stay in her room after the doctor. I didn’t see her that night, I don’t even think she ate, but I still didn’t want to intrude.
The next afternoon, I saw her in the kitchen.
“Hey, how was the doctor?”
“Oh it was alright. I’m not dying or anything like that.”
“So it was just a bad period?”
“Sorry Z, I can’t really talk. I gotta meet Josiah and I told him I would be on time.”
“Okay, well we’ll talk later right?”
She nodded as she ran out the apartment. She had to be okay if she was going to see Jo. That meant she was probably done with her period. I still felt off, but I knew I would have to let it go. I went out with Gina that day and asked her if she noticed anything off about Sasha when we went to Brie’s place.
“I mean other than her having to use the bathroom a lot, no not really. She was drinking a bunch of water so that’s expected. You already warned me a while ago that she’s kinda hard to read, so I’ve just adjusted to the fact that I’m not gonna know everything.”
I knew Gina was right, but my body or perhaps my intuition was telling me something was wrong. Usually Sasha would text me funny things throughout the day, even if she was with Jo or any guy for that matter. Nothing from her since she went to the doctor. It was nighttime and I still hadn’t heard anything. I called and texted her so many times, but nothing. She didn’t even tell me she was staying with Jo, which she usually did, and I just had to go to sleep that night praying she was safe.
I went to work the next day and still no sight of Sasha. She must have left for work from Jo’s place. On the plus side, the kids were very good to me that day. Only one of my students had a temper tantrum. Usually three-year-olds would have tons of meltdowns, but they were all calm and I needed that because I felt like a storm was building at home.
I called Sasha when I got off of work. She answered and reminded me that she still works at 3pm. I was relieved to hear her voice, but she rushed me off the phone. Maybe she was just in a mood. If she went to work, nothing must have been severely wrong. A interrogation was still going to happen, but I was relieved she sounded normal. I would talk to her later.
I heard keys in the door later that night, and hurried to get out of my room. But not fast enough. She went straight into her room. I heard a quick hey and then the click of her door lock. I knocked, but she didn’t answer. When I confronted her the next morning, she claimed she had headphones in and probably couldn’t hear my knocks. For the whole week, it was like that. She came in and out and barely gave me conversation. I knocked on her door, sent her texts throughout the day. She gave me the bare minimum. Something happened at the doctor and I needed to find out what it was. So I stood in the doorway waiting for her to come home one night.
“Z! What the hell? Why are you standing in the doorway like that?”
“Sasha, what the hell is wrong with you? You’ve been freezing me out all week. Do you have cancer or something? You dying? Talk to me, shit.”
“I had a miscarriage,” she whispered.
I let go of her arm, the shock of her statement paralyzing me. She walked by and went into her room. I got back to my senses and walked to her door. I started knocking. She was pregnant?
“Sasha please, let’s talk. What’s happened?” I heard footsteps towards the door and anticipated hugging her as soon as the door opened.
Instead, I heard a click.