Consideration.

Married African
Aug 25, 2017 · 2 min read

con·sid·er·a·tion

kənˌsidərˈāSH(ə)n/

thoughtfulness and sensitivity toward others

A critical part of the act of kindness.

Existential to a happy marriage.

Or to just marriage really.

We got very good at not showing consideration for one another. Me in my flat-out-empty-want-to-lie-down-and-die state, her in her why-is-he-treating-me-like-shit-I-will-move-on state.

None of us taking the first steps at showing consideration for the other and trying to move things along in a better direction. The result. This. My rants online and a deep seated sense of a marriage that is well and truly dead and her not really caring any more. Infact she is more interested in what her status is, married or not-married. To whom is beside the point.

Acknowledgement, acceptance, affection and affirmation. Four ingredients every marriage MUST have for it to hobble along when things are bad. All four undergirded by the concept of love which falls apart when there is no consideration. It’s consideration that gives arranged marriages a chance and powers this thing we call ‘love’. Without consideration, you have nothing.

For now, it will be about going through the motions while trying to figure out how this conversations will play out with the children and with my parents.

I’ve come to terms with it. My marriage is well and truly fucked and a life of being alone awaits.

What’s done is done.

Time to move on.

Or die.

image source: pixabay.com

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Married African

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Confessions of a married African man

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