How Being a Gamer Made Me “Fearless”
People think I’m brave. I don’t think I am.
“Fearless leader” is a nickname I’ve been given by a group of my friends, and it makes me uncomfortable. When they say it, I feel like a fraud. I don’t feel fearless.
In fact, I’m scared all the damn time.
Let me give you a little background: I am a guild leader in a game called World of Warcraft.
If that sounds like gibberish to you — I am the “CEO” of a 20–30-person gaming group.
I don’t get paid to do this. I play as a side-hobby. Sometimes I even stream myself playing the game and making entertaining commentary with my fellow gamers.
Inside this little community, there can be quite a bit of conflict.
While it’s about a plethora of things, and to some, it’s just pixels on a screen, some people take this hobby very seriously.
They want things to have fun while feeling like things are handled justly and fairly.
If you know anything about people management, or just being around people in general, you know that making everyone happy is impossible.
While I have worked over many years to “not care what everyone wants”, there is a side of me that is just a compassionate human being. I like that about myself.
I realize that comes with faults like people pleasing and believing unrealistically that I can make everyone happy — but I’ll take those flaws if it means I’m genuine.
The job of Guild Leader requires I do a lot of things:
· Manage complaints and/or frustrations within our mini-community
· Listen to multiple opinions, thoughts + feedback about how I can do things better
· Make decisions that impact the whole community, while still understanding I make people upset with said decisions
· Managing our time
· Managing our leaders — department managers + CFO
It’s similar to running a company or a business — which I do as well, two of them actually — you do what’s best, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have doubts.
It doesn’t mean you don’t feel insecure or scared that it was the wrong decision.
And it certainly doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother you if someone disagrees with you.
The thing is, I don’t feel fearless. I do the things I do out of necessity. Doing “whatever it takes” is just something that comes naturally ingrained inside of me.
Even though that is inherited part of me, it is still scary and hard to do those things.
I wouldn’t call me fearless.
I would say …I’m just doing what I believe in. I’m making the effort. And I don’t want to be unhappy.
You shouldn’t be either.
While I know that comparing first world leaps like leaving an abusive relationship, starting a new business or moving to a place you’ve never been — all things I’ve done — aren’t the same as the video game scenario.
You don’t have to be fearless to do what you want.
Fear is always going to be there. You have to do your thing in spite of the fear.
Just do your thing.
And yeah, it is that easy.