Love Is Ruff: Realizations of a Reluctant Dog Mom
When my fiancé Arnold told me in July 2022 that he was considering getting a British Shorthair kitten, I was very supportive. He’d been living alone since moving to the U.S. in 2020, and I knew he was getting lonely.
A couple of weeks later, I woke up to a very surprising message:
“Marianne, I got a dog.”
Turns out, the whole time he was telling everyone he wanted a cat, he was also on the waitlist for a Labrador retriever puppy. When one suddenly became available, the breeder asked him if he was interested in adopting the pooch — and he said yes. So in September 2022, he officially became the dad of Peaches, the sweetest yellow lab with the cutest puppy dog eyes.
During the first few months of her life, I only saw Peaches virtually, but I easily became fond of her. Arnold peppered our Zoom calls with stories about how people cooed over her on walks and how his colleagues stopped by his desk to give her belly rubs. He sent me photos and videos of Peaches on little adventures around, and they always looked like they were having tons of fun.
I finally met Peaches in person in December 2022, when Arnold brought her along when he came home to the Philippines to celebrate Christmas. I picked them up from the airport, imagining a picture-perfect reunion in the arrivals area.
Instead, I was greeted by a stinky dog and a haggard human.
Peaches spent the 16-hour trip in her crate in the plane’s cargo hold, where she had several “accidents.” Upon arrival, Arnold spent an hour — and an entire roll of paper towels — cleaning up the soiled dog crate while I did my best to keep a filthy, larger-than-expected puppy from running loose inside the busy airport. Watching him clean up after Peaches, I realized that being a dog lover and a dog owner are two entirely different things — and I was not ready to be the latter.
Fast-forward to September 2023, when I came to Seattle to attend grad school. Since I was joining Arnold’s household, I arrived ready to do my fair share of household responsibilities. But it didn’t immediately dawn on me that those responsibilities included being Peaches’ “mom.”
The first time I took Peaches on a walk by myself, she took a dump in the middle of the sidewalk after she got frightened by an inflatable tube man. I panicked and rushed her away, only for Arnold to tell me, in no uncertain terms, that I had to clean up the poop from the pavement. So I returned to the crime scene — and discovered that picking up after Peaches wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. Something about being able to literally handle shit made me feel like I could do anything (but only after thoroughly washing my hands).
It was really the little things that tested my patience. Peaches slept in the bed with us, hogging my pillow in the middle of the night. She got dog hair all over everything. And worst of all, she had a “talent” for making chew toys out of our valuables.
Recently, while visiting Seattle Center, I checked the security camera at home to see what Peaches was up to — and found her happily gnawing away at my AirPods, which I’d only had for a few months. I was legitimately terrified that Peaches might choke on them and die.
I wanted to go home immediately, but our tickets to the Space Needle and Chihuly Garden and Glass were already paid for. Arnold assured me that Peaches would be fine — she’d eaten one of his AirPods before and she just pooped it out — but that wasn’t exactly reassuring. For the rest of the day, I checked the camera every few minutes. When I got home and saw that she only managed to chew on the AirPods case, I almost cried out of relief, overwhelmed by my love for her.
My journey as a dog mom was only beginning, and I knew there would be more similarly nerve-wracking incidents. I guess that’s the reality of taking responsibility for another living creature: a dog, a baby, a sick loved one. While it’s easy to love someone when they’re adorable, it can be downright challenging to extend the same love when they’re throwing tantrums or destroying stuff. But that’s such a small price to pay in exchange for the unconditional love that only a dog can give.
Peaches doesn’t hold grudges — not even when we reduced her meals because she was getting chonky. She’s afraid of so many things, but she still tries to defend me when she thinks I’m in danger. When I found myself curled up on the couch one afternoon, sobbing due to homesickness and PMS, she snuggled up beside me, licking away my tears.
It’s said that loving is the easiest thing in the world, but I’d say it’s more of a lifelong learning process. Peaches taught me to be kind, patient, and understanding; to compromise and sacrifice — not to become perfect, but to be the best you can be for your loved ones. It all begins with making the conscious decision to love — and on the days when that’s too hard, to try to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.