thanks for experessing what so many of us experience. It is fun for me to observe all this in my working behaviours recently. I have come to a point, for a couple of weeks, when I saw myself as the “first kind of freelancer” — lemon water and yoga in the morning, then focused work for a couple of hours, accomplishing a lot in a short time, and then having afternoons for relaxing.
But then some difficult days came, when I was not feeling so inspired and so organized. And of course, the self-pressure appeared. “Why are you being so lazy and distracted?” “Last week you did it faster” — and thoughts of that sort :)
Now it is important for me to learn how to deal with this pressure I, just like you, put on myself. My way to do it is remembering that I am already fine, just where I am now. Sure, I want to grow my business and develop as a writer, but I want to do it from the point of already feeling I am “good enough”.
Thanks for your reflections! I really enjoyed the read.