Enhancing Artistic Fulfillment: The Shift from Performance-Based to Purpose-Driven Identity

A few years ago, okay… more than a few years ago, I was in NYC for the dreaded week of YAP auditions. It was the last year of my masters at Indiana University and I grabbed a drink with Mezzo Soprano Deniz Uzun at this restaurant, The Smith, directly across the street from The Met. Anyone whose done the NYC audition thing knows this place well. Google 5 star review.

If you don’t follow Deniz’s career, then here’s your reminder to start now. There are singers who sing, and there are singers who use their voice to create. Find her on YouTube or follow her on Instagram, you’ll understand immediately what I am talking about.

Deniz said something to me in this conversation years ago at The Smith that has stuck with me forever. It has become a guiding principle in building my career. In fact, I don’t care what career you are in, It’s great advice.

Here it is:

Make sure you always love your life more than you love your job.

— Deniz Uzun, Mezzosopran

It’s brilliant advice.

Performance vs. Purpose Based Identity

I was recently listening to an interview with Dr. Michael Gervais, a high performance psychologist who studies and coaches world-class performers (athletes and musicians alike). In this interview he discusses performance vs purpose based identity and it immediately reminded me of my conversation with Deniz. At the foundation of her fantastic advice lays the distinction and preference for building a purpose based identity over a performance based identity.

What is Performance Based Identity?

Performance based identity is when your sense of self depends completely on how well you do compared to others. The symptoms are perfectionism, fear of failure, and looking to others as a point of comparison. Is this you and everyone you know? Hi, It’s also me and it’s no wonder. We live in a culture obsessed with performance. If you’re in a cut-throat creative business like the Opera industry, it’s literally your job to perform.

Performance based identity is particularly toxic for opera singers. The truth is, like many creative industries, the opera world is extremely competitive with a low job security rate. Even if you do make it into the industry, the careers of most sopranos only last about 8 years. And while it is in some ways a beautiful, experiential life- it can be a totally brutal day-to-day lifestyle. Long hours, injury, stress and burnout for often low and insecure pay.

In the words of Leah Partridge in her recent letter outlining her experiences covering at The Met, she asks a question many of us have:

‘Why am I trying so hard for so little?’

What happens to your sense of identity if you never ‘make it’ or when you decide to leave singing for another passion? Who are you, if you never have the opportunity to set foot on stage? It’s dangerous to fuse your whole identity with the thing you do. But when success in the industry often demands that you hand yourself over completely, it’s very hard — and brave — to seek out an alternative.

The Shift to a Purpose Based identity

What if, instead of attaching our identity to the title ‘opera singer’, we base our identity in our purpose? Living out identity based in purpose is always something you can control. It is always something in which you can enjoy success. Whether or not we are hired is within our influence — but it is also ultimately out of our control. What do we have control over? Living according to our purpose.

Purpose-driven artists are going to have a lot easier time when things go awry. You will be the artist that is capable of pivoting into something even greater or, just as important for the world, into something that will give you inner peace and fulfillment. In the world we live in now, the art of the pivot will be something every artist has to master. We have to learn fast and be clear about our purpose.

I’ve coached, taught lessons, and worked along side a lot of singers over the past 6 years in Germany. I’ve found a clear distinction in artistic fulfillment that I see with singers who are purpose-driven versus performance-driven. The following are profiles of each. We are all a bit of both.

Profile of a Purpose-Based Artist: Melanie Lang

Melanie Lang. Another mezzo-soprano who has been singing literally thousands of performances and too many roles to count for over a decade in Germany. I’ve had the honor to work with her for years and have learned incredible amounts from this woman. What a voice, incredible acting skills, and the definition of a purpose-based singer.

Only Melanie can truly say what her purpose is. But it’s clear from my work with her that one of her main purposes as an artist is to create an emotionally safe place for her colleagues. There are little disputes and dramas that come up constantly in this job. She jumps right in to clean them up and clear the air so that we can all get on with our work with a great safe feeling.

This is something she can do as an artist no matter her job title. I feel quite confident that, if Melanie pivoted from singing tomorrow and worked in any other industry or environment, she would still fulfill that purpose that she finds so important.

Also for fun, scroll through her operabase profile …and keep scrolling because she has given literally 1000’s of performances of over 64 different roles. Artists like this with hours and hours of experience over here in Germany are the most inspiring. Just a thought: her clarity in purpose is a main ingredient to her longevity in this competitive industry.

Profile of a Performance-Based Artist

I’m not going to profile an actual singer here. I have to be honest, it is hard to find an example of someone who has persisted in the industry with this mindset. I also think you will know the stereotype when I list these symptoms. That said, these characteristics are present in all of our nonlinear lives as artists.

• more concerned with the outcome of your performing rather than the actual performance
• cannot accept or implement criticism or feedback
• perfectionism and fear of failure
• an intense fear of what your future will hold
• disassociation from the reality that most people will not ‘make it’ into the industry and refusal to consider a pivot that will change their lives and the lives of the people around them for the better (sorry… harsh truth that needs to be grappled with)

Of course in real life, nothing is ever black and white. Every artist is out there hobbling along and finding out in beautiful and difficult ways what their purpose is. Our purpose changes, we lose touch with it, and we find it again. Seeking to always stay tethered and growing our resilience is the best we can do.

Our Relationship to Failure

To the performance based identity singer, failure is melded with how they understand their identity. I didn’t win the audition because I’m a failure, nobody is hiring me because I am a failure. I made a musical mistake or forgot my words because I am [insert damaging adjective of your choice].

This can cause incredible emotional distress when failure happens, and failure will inevitably happen. But failure for a purpose-based artist? It is just information. It looks something like this: mistake, excitement that there is new information to learn, and immediately moving on. It’s a lot easier to be resilient when you perceive failure simply as feedback.

But what is my Purpose?

It’s something you have to work very hard to find. My personal belief is that this is a question that we ask and work very hard to find out the answers to until we die. It’s something that changes and morphs over time, a question that we lose touch with and remember occasionally. A question for which we will never find a complete answer. Our job is to simply complete the answer as much as we can.

One thing I can say is that it is and never has been anyone’s purpose to ‘make it’ or simply to hold the job title ‘opera singer’, however hard fought and won. Seeking any job title will always be an empty identity. The only thing that will persist is purpose.

‘You can’t mess with people that are purpose based.’ — Dr. Michael Gervais

3 Questions to shift from a performance to purpose based mindset

1. What ways do I love my life more than my job? (Thanks, Deniz)
2. If I’m really being honest with myself, in what ways am I being performative vs. purposeful?
3. Does my pursuit of a singing career help accomplish my purpose?