Rehearsal or Hostage Negotiation?
How expert FBI negotiator, Chris Voss, can help us communicate better in the rehearsal room
Have you ever had a rehearsal process that you just had to think ‘Arschbacken zusammen und durch’? I’m sure the answer is a resounding ‘Jaaaa!’. But what about the few rehearsals or productions where things flow like a dream? It is life-affirming and energising to have rehearsals that run smoothly and productively, dare I even utter the word inspiring. But what are the factors for a great rehearsal process? Three elements come to mind: organisation, preparation, and communication.
The one we an all stand to improve upon? Communication.
And what type of communication is going on in our rehearsal spaces if not negotiation?
Rehearsals can simply be broken down into a series of negotiations between the conductor, the director, and the technical demands of the Konzept. Singers also have their very long list of negotiations they have to make to get a piece to the stage. They must negotiate with the director, their voice, the music and the conductor’s ideas, rehearsal shoes, and much more.
Rehearsal or Hostage Situation?
Chris Voss’s book ‘Never Split the Difference’ gives us some clear instructions better communication for our rehearsal spaces. Voss is an experienced FBI hostage negotiator, so he may be one of the few people outside of the opera industry that knows what a hot room feels like. I don’t mean to compare an opera rehearsal to negotiating life-or-death hostage situations, although I’m sure some stage directors would disagree. But Voss proposes 4 helpful key points for us all to communicate better when it comes to our rehearsals.
Here they are:
Active Listening:
Paying close attention to whomever is in charge of the rehearsal seems basic, but the rehearsal room can be a particularly distracting place. Distracting because of chatty colleagues, sure. But also distracting in subtle ways like small artistically relevant worries. Many of these quibbles don’t need to be brought up in the moment, but can loudly rumble around your brain during a rehearsal and prevent you from truly giving your attention to the person that requires it in the moment.
If a director or conductor is giving you information, for example, and you throw one of those little off-topic worries like an axe right into the middle of their thoughts, it could subtly result in them feeling interrupted. It’s possible that they lose their train of thought which results in less-productive time getting back on track and an increase in frustration.
It’s nuanced, to be sure. But I’ve seen performers keep a little notebook to jot things down on to bring up at a later time. This way, those little thoughts are not bouncing around their brain, allowing them to focus on the task or person at hand. Second of all, they refrain from breaking the flow of the rehearsal while still respecting these little artistic worries that should be addressed, just at the right time.
Active listening is also not just about listening to someone’s words but also seeking to understand their greater meaning, intent, or goal. Especially in the performance space, this sort of communication comes into play. I’ve seen more experienced performers in a rehearsal able to easily read past the way a director or conductor is communicating to get to the important what they are communicating. I’ve noticed these are generally the most experienced performers in the room, so maybe that’s just the key in this situation: experience.
Mirroring:
Maybe if you’ve done any job interview training outside of the auditioning world, you might know that physically mirroring someone’s body movements can inspire trust (subtly… let’s not be super awkward about it!). But in terms of verbal communication, Voss suggests the following tactic:
Repeat the last few words or the essential part of what the other person has said. This encourages them to continue talking and provides more information.
It’s uncomfortable to try this out for the first time but a few glorious things happen and your negotiation partner won’t catch on, guaranteed. First, whoever you’re working your communication magic on will feel heard and understood. Mirroring works as an active listening tactic, so extra points for you.
Secondly, they will elaborate. Haven’t we all had the situation in a rehearsal when a director or conductor asks something of us and we don’t truly understand what they want? Usually you just answer with a ‘of course! Genau…’. Eager to please, you do whatever it is again, hoping you magically give them what they want. Instead of just saying ‘I’m sorry, I have no clue what you’re trying to get me to do!’, try this tactic. They’ll say more words and give more context, so you can better detective your way to figuring out what they actually mean.
Thirdly? You can really get someone to talk. So if it’s 10 minutes before rehearsal ends and you just cannot do that mad-scene again, **then do your colleagues a favor and give this tactic a try.
Labeling:
Here’s Voss’ advice for when things get a bit heated. Not that emotions ever get high in a rehearsal…
Voss recommends identifying and acknowledging the other person’s feelings by using a label. This tactic should be used with respect, care, and honesty. We want to avoid blaming or mocking. Also, be careful of stating the obvious. When someone blows up in a rehearsal, this isn’t the time to try out this tactic. It’s maybe just time for a coffee break.
But for those times when someone seems uncomfortable or quietly upset, this can be a great way to build trust. By labeling the other persons emotions like ‘It seems you’re uncomfortable’, you create a safe space for them to open up about their concerns. Give them a starting point to either say, ‘yes! That’s how I’m feeling’ or ‘NO, I’m feeling angry.’ Then, we know what emotion we are dealing with, we can diffuse it and move on to the solution.
Use Open-Ended Questions:
Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no, ask open-ended questions to gather more information. The absolute best open-ended question to ask in a rehearsal is earnestly asking the question ‘How?’.
Remember those pesky little, but important, artistic worries that come up during rehearsals that we filed away in a notebook as to not interrupt the director’s flow? Well, finding a good time with the director to as ‘how’ is a great way to get them to solve your problems for you.
‘How can I jump on the trampoline if I am wearing stilettos?’ ‘How can I enter stage right if I’ve just exited stage left?’ ‘How would you like me to sing a pianissimo high Q while hanging upside-down from one foot?’
The danger in rehearsal is that a lot of obvious things can get missed because putting together an opera is just plain detailed and hard. There are a million moving parts and there is the fate of the universe constantly throwing unexpected things at us during the rehearsal process. Sometimes we are in the position of asking painfully obvious questions that someone in charge just simply and understandably missed. They need to be brought up but you don’t want to be offensive. Asking how in a way that is earnest and feels like asking for help is a great tactic to use in exactly this situation
So…
What do you think? Drop a comment below. What communication tactics have helped you communicate effectively during a rehearsal process?
I’m headed into rehearsal now to use some of these skills myself- follow me on Instagram @marthaeasonsoprano and I’ll tell you how it goes!
Happy Singing 🥨✌️
