Porn Makes Men Terrible in Bed
Emma Lindsay

Well, maybe the real problem is women don’t talk about what they really want. You can’t expect of someone to read your mind, and if the guy really cares, he will listen and try to do better. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t worth it anyway.

My husband watched enough porn in his youth (and keeps watching it sometimes still), but I don’t see how it really affected him in any way. Of course he understands that it’s all fake (maybe because he has a brain — for, isn’t it just obvious?). We watch porn from time to time together, because that’s a nice way for me to tune into the right mood and turn on, which is often a slow process. I did experience some painful instants, usually when I wasn’t wet enough during the pursuit for my second orgasm, but I just say “Stop! It hurts”, so he doesn’t need to look for subtle clues in my facial expression. It helps, you know ;)

We were totally inexperienced when we started dating and went a long road to get to where we are now. Two things helped us: 1) We talked a lot; 2) We both cared to learn and make thing pleasurable for both of us.

I don’t think porn is the problem. Lack of confidence in women is. Women are afraid to talk about their own sexuality, women are afraid to demand what they need. There is no way to learn when you don’t say that something is wrong. And it’s this culture of pleasing men that makes things so bad — because why bother with a girl who demands pleasure, when you can find this always-happy-with-everything-you-do type of woman? So it’s a much-much broader cultural problem: there are enough of men who understand that porn is fake, they just don’t bother to care; there are too little women who get pleasure, but they are afraid to demand it. Conversation in the bedroom is the first step to change this.

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