Why are we experimenting over and over again?
When our passion becomes full and when should we let go

Have you ever found yourself in a period of your life where you are experimenting a lot? Do you consider these actions and consequences as good or bad? If yes, then here’s a proof for this actually being a good thing.
In one of my first articles I mentioned the case of trading 2 hours of a pleasant activity (horse riding) for a different 1 hour activity (dancing). I mentioned that having this trade will make us more productive, less stressed and mentally free. At the same time that would deliver us the same amount of relaxation and satisfaction. Also, that this is not actually a sacrifice you are making, but a reasonable choice, which contains an element of investment.
Why?
Well, you would agree that the more we experiment, the more we learn about ourselves. We learn more about the world around us. About the people and processes that we come in contact with.
We learn about the alternative lives we could’ve had, about whether they are actually what we thought they would be. Or something that we would have never predicted them to be.
Either way, we get this minimal, but critical information that we need to make our final choice. To decide whether to continue and turn it into a new passion, or to let it go. We find that insight, that we would’ve got only if we fully invested some crucial time and resources.
We could always ask a friend, or research online about that information. And you probably agree that this doesn’t always work. It doesn’t, because what you can’t get online or by reading or hearing from a friend is the experience.
Friends and Google can only share their experiences. What actually matters in this case is your own experience. You can’t get that until you buckle up and try. Scheduling that appointment and having to prepare yourself.
You can always be biased, but you will never truly feel and understand what you might be skipping. Until you just try.
Choosing to experiment
Have you ever ride a bicycle? Do you remember your very first time you got the balance right? I bet it felt awesome! You know how much you have tried, and you know how much you wanted to do that, no matter how many times you could’ve fell, or how many times you did actually fell.
Right now, your bike might be sitting in your closet for the past several days, months, or even years. There might be hundreds of reasons for you not to ride it very often, but what’s more important is that there is at least one big reason not to actually throw the bike away.
And that’s because of the feeling you get when you get on. Unconsciously, you still have that memory imprinted in your mind. You still remember what joy can those 2 wheels bring you.
And that’s the good thing about experimenting. You gain another option for shooting a doze of happiness into your system. You get this opportunity to receive it, as long as you just decide to have it. There are no blockers or unknowns.
You already know all the steps. It depends on you to just reach out. Think about it as if you were to have a box of things that make you happy. As much items you have in that box the more options you have to feel happy at any given moment.
The size of the box all depends on you.
The next time you bump into this nice thing that you used to do in the past gives you great pleasure. Whether in the form of a weird nostalgia or some warm fuzzy feeling, you feel that this makes you happy. Even if you feel a bit sad looking back, you still get this confirmation that this is something that makes you happy.
But why should you feel sorry at all? Because you lost something beautiful? Because your present could’ve been much more different and maybe better?
I don’t think so.
Looking back and realizing that you actually did something that makes you happy is a good thing. The more things you try the happier memories you will have.
And we know that people remember mostly the happy memories. We don’t want the ones that made us sad, or hurt or something like that. Why would we want that?
And if at some point seems hard — put more happiness into it rather than effort. There should be a clear distinction between both. Having invested more effort then happiness may not be bad, but you are loosing the focus. It’s easy to go astray. That’s why you should always ping yourself for that.
The curve could be pretty steep for getting over the effort and into the pleasure. You just have to keep looking up and make one more step until you reach the turning point. Each step should make you feel stronger and more confident.
Sometimes you might feel that this is just not for you. Everyone else is doing better. You keep trying and trying and you still don’t have the expected or desired results. You are beginning to wonder if you should go on.
The short answer is: “Yes, you should”.
Why? Because, feeling that you are not good enough should not be the main criteria here. The main one is — does this make you happy?
If, yes, then don’t stop. Don’t listen to everyone else. There are many examples of people, that achieved a lot in their lives, even though they were rejected and considered not good enough. Probably you know such examples yourself.
Doubt, is a very subjective feeling. Combined with some facts could be even destructive. Focus, is what you should concentrate on. It will shake of the doubt and drive you to the place where you want to be.
The case when “I’m at the middle. Should I continue or let go?”
Sometimes our experiments may take a very long period of time. It might seem even not worth going on.
Investing even more might be too risky. Letting go, might feel like a huge wasted time.
Time is never wasted. There is always a comfortable reason for its transition.
You are probably at the verge of choosing whether this should turn into a passion or not. There a few questions here, which by answering you could find out what you should do:
- Is this something that you see yourself doing and investing in the next year or event more?
- Is it something you are always waiting for, or something that you just want be over with?
- Are you making friends by doing it? Sometimes this could be a very powerful factor in your decision. Having a large group of friends supporting you is something you want to have if you wish to continue.
- Does it make you happy?
There could be many other questions, like, how much does it cost or does it take too long to get to it, but they are all secondary questions. Focus on the main ones. They should give you enough weight to decide. You don’t want to quit your passion just because it costs too much. You do wish to quit if you decide that this is no longer a passion.
That’s OK. Dreams, hobbies or even “the love of your life” can change. People change. It’s not OK if you don’t admit it.
Another clear opportunity to let go is when you have a trade. A better thing to try on. It might not event be such a sure shot. It may not even be something new. That shouldn’t stop you from the switch.
Nobody can tell you for sure that once you try something, suspending it would be the end of it. Don’t look at it that way. You can always come back and most of the times you will be much more confident.
Sometimes the only way to understand how much we want things is to let them go. It’s not something that we should use only in our love life. It’s something that we should think of as a step 1 out of 2. The second step would be reflecting.
Looking back at your decision should either make you feel calm and at peace with yourself or make you wanna go back. What you are looking for achieving here as well is to eliminate regrets.
You should not regret about your decision. And you won’t feel that way only when you answered the true questions and made the right choices.
Regrets can sometimes be found in the fear of quitting. Fear should not be the main factor not to quit. Fear is too abstract problem to solve.
Transform it! Figure our why this fear exists. Is it really fear or something else? Are you actually loosing something? Can it be replaced with something else?
The truth can sometimes be found in the uncertainty of the future. The fact that you will no longer have a plan or control in the future is not a deal breaker.
The pros of quitting might be hidden, but that does not mean that they do not exist. Finding the real reason not to quit is the harder thing to do, than choosing not to think about it and just continue.
Choosing not to experiment
Sometimes it’s just not the right time. You run out of money, or time or the stars might not be aligned perfectly.
Sometimes you find that you are giving yourself only headaches, trying to accomplish something that should just give you pleasure. It’s not too difficult to fall into such spiral.
You need to shake it of and just let it go. At least for a moment. The thing that you are trying to do for pleasure, should not give you headaches. At least, not in the bad way.
A good reason not to experiment might be the fact that you don’t need to experiment. You might feel that you are OK just the way you are right now.
You are probably in a state, where you have found your true calling. You can see all obstacles in the near future and you know how to handle them. If that’s so, well congratulations! You probably found your recipe for keeping you zen state.
Or you are just not feeling it. You are not in a mood for that. That’s why you would be skipping one or two other two offers.
That’s OK too. There are things in life that don’t need a reason or explanation. Respecting that in such situations would prevent you from looking back with regret.
Stay true to yourself and the right answer will come. Sometimes you don’t need to reach all the way.
Conclusion
Remember that making it happen is part of the game. You should be proactive when it comes to your most desired experiments and small dreams. Seize the opportunity!
And don’t forget to also welcome the opportunity when it presents itself to you. It might not be your favorite pick, but it’s definitely worth to try.
