Do you need a strangers validation?

You Are Not Your Likes, Pt. 2

If you remember from Part 1 of ‘You Are Not Your Likes’ we began the conversation of how our social media and convenience of today’s plethora of apps is having a negative impact on our lives. The autopilot routine of a life made convenient by these apps and social media platforms for some is not okay. It’s akin to being in a washing machine. Round and round, fill with water, soak (with the same stale water), rinse, spin, repeat. For a slew of folks though, there is a pull towards something else or a feeling of a gaping hole in their spirit they just can’t place. It’s like a fog that’s thick enough to cut and fold. The compulsion or experiences garnered through apps have taken a toll.

The dominant issue I have seen in my advisory role with individuals and even in on the corporate side is that they are not present to why using these digital outlets as a primary means of communication begins to leave a hole in their spirit in the first place. I see it across the board in unfulfilled careers, relationships, friendships, and family relationships. You get sucked into “transmission loss” or “lost in text-lation”. We all experience this probably on a daily basis when communication is completely misinterpreted or represented because the nuance of tone and context is just not translatable in a text, email or social media post.

So what are we to do? On the basic end how does one become a more effective communicator across the board? To go even further, as one becomes present to shades of unhappiness in their current “wash cycle”, how do you go about stopping it and filling life with something of substance and meaning? If you’re having a breakthrough of understanding just in reading this or are beginning to feel that itch that is great news! You are present and aware and that is more than half of the process in occupying that space with personal life value. By the way, it’s ok to be in that space of question or restlessness in your spirit. If you’re not present to this feeling, it’s totally ok too, it just means you are still journeying through the process of recognizing a blind spot in your life or not.

To give you a better idea and understanding let’s take a simple look at how dating has changed in the past decade. If you’re in your thirties or older, you’re old enough to remember what it’s like to actually date. For those under 30 let me qualify; Guy and girl see each other (emphasis on physically see), flirt, actually speak face to face, go out on a date, court (ask someone over 30 what that means) or don’t based on chemistry and actual conversation. Today, the dating game has drastically changed. The most time consuming part of dating today is constructing a profile on whatever app you’ve elected to use. It’s as easy as a swipe or a tap now. Sex on tap, literally. Validation through a swipe. No longer is there any work involved or actual exchange of personality or personal vulnerability. Profile pops up. Pic looks good. Scroll through their feed a bit. Like, swipe or DM and presto your Wednesday night is a drink, a formality meet up and a romp. Do you see the slippery slope that creates? The intention is different in the dating game now dependent on the app you choose to use. The desire for validation is so strong by design that we are seeing dating in quantity and not quality. It becomes a numbers game. Ladies, if he has a cool social media feed of cars, money, abs, and lifestyle let’s set up a meet. Fellas, if she looks hot, posts sexy pics and seems available (or even not) let’s slide into those DM’s. When the reality is unveiled face to face it’s just as easy to move on to the next hopeful profile to satisfy that immediate need, right? The cycle could be never ending. The process of actually getting to know someone or better word, discover that persons true self is non existent. No one is interested in being interested in the individual anymore.

A poll was conducted recently on the net via Conde Naste publishing and the number one concern and desire for women is love/partnership. It was first by a landslide with career coming in at a distant second. For men it was career first, relationship with friends second, love/partnership third. Third! It seems our general intentions in the dating game between men and women are completely misaligned. So where does this leave us? Well, the power and ability to shift the general intention is actually up to you. A movement starts with one.

The first action is deciding you are not your likes. Be present to the thought process and internal dialogue that comes up as you flip through a timeline or post on your feed. Remember, it’s all entertainment and at the end of the day ask yourself, ‘Am I really my likes? Where am I receiving my validation and self love from?’. This is precisely why I LOVE the Live Limitlessly hub. It is solely focused and generated by the commitment to raise our vibration of Self Love and the power that lies within. We are designers of life and once awakened to our powerful tools of construction, we can build great monuments of value and self worth. It starts there. And because we are tethered and connected energetically in this world, the concentric circles that push out through the ether have the ability to reach great distance. Be the shift of presence and awareness in the energy you spend for the sake of love, likes, and validation.

Wouldn’t it be way better to double tap someone’s real heart and they yours?