Taking a non-turn in conversation

I teach about language in interaction. Especially about what we do, with the little words that facilitate the flow of a conversation (and that make for a conversational style in writing).

An observation

One of my students made the following observation: while attending a talk, she noticed that the speaker used ‘okay’ in the middle of her talk. As if to ask for approval. What she found so curious is that she found herself nodding in response. Even though she was among many in the audience! And even though the speaker did not mean to give up her turn to wait for approval. There was no turn-taking intended.

So why is my student in the audience taking a turn in the conversation, as it were? Why does she feel compelled to nod her head?

My attempt at an answer.

Just as language processing proceeds reflex-like (you can’t but hear language as language), it appears that turn-taking, too, is reflex-like (you can’t but take a turn, even if you are taking a non-turn).

A speaker ensures understanding by using okay without really intending to give up her turn, and... Success! The listener responds with a nod. They backchannel (in this case with a nod). It’s a reflex, which confirms understanding. And perhaps expresses agreement. It didn’t matter that no turn was actually in sight. The listener can’t help it.

But hey!

Why doesn’t everyone in the audience always nod?

If you have given talks or taught in a classroom, you know that not everyone nods. Typically, we can rely on a few token listeners in the audience (and it’s nice to focus on them precisely because they give us feedback).

It could, of course, be the case that the majority of the audience doesn’t agree with what we are saying. But the thing is that backchannels don’t have to signal agreement; they may simply signal understanding. And hopefully, there are more than a few listeners who follow what we are saying.

So why doesn’t everyone who understands nod in unison?

Maybe there are two modes of listening to a talk: active and passive. The active listener is in interactional mode. And the backchanneling reflex is on. But the passive listener is not in interactional mode. They are in observational mode. Somehow, they do not consider themselves the target of the interaction. So the backchannel reflex is off.

So next time you listen to a talk, note the mode you are in. Do you nod? Shake your head? Frown? And what happens when you read?