HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DISCO ELYSIUM!
or the so-called ABEL’S PRICE
A counter-propaganda piece
“There is something in you I like more than yourself. Therefore I must destroy you.”
— Jacques Lacan
Firstly, I would like to wish a very happy birthday to the Disco Elysium game and give my warm regards to everyone that helped make the game and everyone that has at some point believed in us, up to and including all crooks, capitalists and psychopaths. If one wills, they can listen to this classic birthday song from the Estonian SSR centered on the concept of vodka as a birthday present:
I see the Capital making statements and thus I am compelled to make statements in turn, which gives me a wonderful opportunity to discuss the story, the ‘making of’ of the game, the characters and destiny central to it in a more sombre manner than may be customary for the industry.
The heart of the matter is of course about the Elysium world. I know Robert, for about twenty years or so; I know the Elysium world. I have not gone very deeply into what Capital has to say. They say that Disco Elysium, maybe even the Elysium world, is a ‘collaborative effort’. Which the latter truly is, has always been, and what Robert wanted it to be. And what the DE game has been to a degree — I remember Robert, when making it was only in its starting phase, saying things like ‘it was less lonely writing a book’ and ‘this is one of the most ungrateful endeavours in the world’. I’m thinking it got lonely as he had overmany duties on his neck, really. Interpersonal conflict rises from overworking, which in turn rises from on the one hand, the exploitation; on the other, the relentless will of one to raise their market value, as it is always felt to be too low.
But however collaborative it might have been, it does not follow that he should be barred from contributing into said world which is, as we may imagine, very personal for him. I am unsure anything even gets *that* personal for myself. It’s good to be a shallow person. This way you can breathe. Now I would be saying that it would be fair for a man to get to tell the story that he wants to tell. Especially given that this specific story he has wanted to tell since he was 25 or so. This is not about Robert really. I am not on very good terms with him right now… I think about the last time we were on very good terms and having a whole lot of fun together was when we were editing Sacred and Terrible Air, really, which would make it about ten years ago. Or maybe it would be more precise to say: We have never been on *very* good terms.
But what we do have is that we respect each other as intellectuals, we respect and love each other’s work, a lot of things we have learned together or from each other — he might have benefited from learning more from me, but I would clearly be biased towards myself, wouldn’t I? The thing is really, I have been loved more than him in life. Ultimately it is not his fault that he is how he is, or then it is as much the fault of others for not being able to help him. It is clear, and has always been thus for me, that he is a very talented individual, one that gives *extremely* special consideration to the world around him. At the time when he conceived of the Station 41 campaign he was about 25, and the themes and the way in which they are handled are well and truly unique, and it makes sense that they would be conjured up by a man at war with himself and the entire world, and it would also make sense to forgive him his shortcomings as we would love our shortcomings to be forgiven to ourselves. In the general sense I mean — not that everyone that has business with him should forgive him every single shortcoming, as this is a matter of everyone’s personal judgment.
In short, Robert was fired from the company whose heart and seed he was due to claims of ‘creating a toxic workplace environment’. Having worked at the company remotely in the summer of 2021 I can say things were truly not all right at the company, but I would say it is much more plausible that the toxic environment was created instead by the upper management and blamed on Robert. I have seen a similar situation before. The idealist workaholic does not pay attention to people’s psychological needs as the conspirator does and thus he will at most times be outplayed. Reminds me of the Stalin and Trotsky situation, in which Trotsky felt relatively safe due to his high intellect, hard-working personality and being loved by the people, while not paying attention to the relations with other Communist Party members, while Stalin knew that those were the most important relations. Of course we also know that these same Communist Party members excepting Kalinin and maybe a few others paid very dearly for falling prey to that smooth criminal.
The price that Trotsky had to pay was of course the Abel’s price. He had something better than the others. Namely, talent and love. This is ultimately why he had his head bashed in. I would say Abel’s price is truly one of the most common forms of payment. Paid it myself, even.
And so, that is really the crux of the matter. Robert got screwed out of his life’s work because of how good it was and how beloved he was. By far not the first time to happen either — none to whom I’ve told the tale have been really surprised about it, although we Easterners seem to have a way more emotionally violent and maybe technically less graceful way of going about those things than would be the norm. I myself have high hopes for the future, but you really got to have high hopes when high hopes are all you have.
What happened to Robert was what happens to most talented people that get any recognition in our age — he got manipulated by psychopaths. And the people that have been railed up against him and his entourage, they have also been manipulated by psychopaths so it doesn’t really make anything much better if we get mad at them. Robert trusted the people that got him fired completely before they got him fired. He thought they were his friends. This is a major ‘red check failure’ really. We should take time to analyse it.
A friendship, or an imaginary friendship, is based on something which you can point at, some shared values, complexes, experiences. Now one thing that connects both me with Robert, and Robert with the money men, and in large part with the Disco fandom with the Disco game is dissatifaction with the way things are. I would also say that we are all connected by an above average interest in the way things work and intellectual matters in general. The thing that connected Robert with the money men was a general fear of poverty. One which I do not possess as my father was a declassé bourgeois, whose general attitude was ‘we are justified and ancient even if we shit ourselves’. Wealth is not in one’s bank account, this is where ‘liquidity’ lives. Wealth is instead a place in one’s head.
So, what we have to understand about Robert is that already when he was 22, he was depressed about how it was not possible to make culture in Estonia. And I agree that it is not possible much. There is no audience here really. Things do not get discussed much. In essence, no one cares about whether you are talented. And Robert clearly was and is talented, it is plain to see now and it was plain to see then and for a whole lot of time all he got from it was some female attention and paying a lot of Abel’s price.
So, Kaur Kender, who became one of the Disco executives, was about the first person with some power, a fully adult fellow writer who seemed to have a very active interest in what he had to say. At least partly I believe this interest to have been genuine, and if this interest was profit-motivated, it was still better than nothing. Of course, we knew him to be a part of the bandit culture, he made a huge show out of it, but then again, in post-Soviet Estonia, ‘a businessman from the nineties’ has a very similar ring to it anyhow. So, we were accepting of it. People change anyhow, don’t they? He had quit drinking, after all. It does not do to be prejudiced. And would we want there to be no Disco Elysium?
The other bandit I only ever saw in a Zoom call, which was in hindsight rather telling, as he did not use his actual name, Tõnis Haavel, as his handle, but instead an alias, Denis Havel (likewise in work email). Let us say it was unseemly. When one starts to think about it, it was most likely so people would not happen to google him to see that he has been convicted for investment fraud. They say people make a huge deal out of it abroad, in the more developed countries.
To end on a more positive note, Robert said some months ago that he is confident about one day writing Elysium again. I would take him at his word. Many have also asked me how they could contribute. There are two main resources any person has, which are time and attention, and any ‘Disco fan’ has already chosen to give them to the game and its creators, and to the situation around it. Be confident that you will do what needs to be done when you see it.
Revachol forever.
