How to Make Enemies and Alienate People

Martin Stellar
May 26, 2017 · 2 min read

Saw two examples of how to network with people, at an event in Malaga yesterday.

One good, and one disastrously wrong.

Before the socialising part, each attendee got one minute to pitch their business.

Afterwards, I was accosted — literally — by a pretty young woman.

No, not in that way.

She came up to me, introduced herself, and without pause launched into an endless, aggressive salespitch.

How her co-working space is this and that, how there’s seminars and a virtual mentoring programme… on and on.

I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

Not even to say that I don’t need any of that, because my friend Antonio runs his own co-working place, and I get everything she offers and more, at his shop.

Silly of her, because showing up this way meant that she made herself absolutely unattractive to me, from a business point of view.

On a personal level too, because there was nary a smile or friendly expression during her entire rant.

Compare that to the second experience.

Guy comes up, tells me that my pitch really interested him.

That merging psychology and systems-thinking (the two pillars I use in my coaching) is a great concept.

And that, if I’d allow, he could make a suggestion.

So I said sure, tell me. I’m already liking this guy because he stroked my ego.

Says that I could improve my presentations and pitches, if I’d keep the concepts I use simpler and less abstract.

Because since my Spanish isn’t fluent…

WTF?? Of course my Spanish is fluent! That is, it flows just fine, even if it’s as rickety as my grandfather’s wheelbarrow, and I only use 3 of the eleventy forms of conjugation they have.

Anyway, moving on: that because my Spanish isn’t fluent, it’s better to keep things simpler and more concrete.

Which is a fair point, and would I like to have coffee with him?

Well yes, totally. Because he complimented me, and gave me something helpful to work with.

Which is a brilliant and simple way to connect with people.

The girl, well she doesn’t really interest me.

But that guy, he’s on my radar now.

And that’s a lot better than leaving someone with a bad taste in their mouth.

Meanwhile, let me know if you want a complimentary coaching conversation. I promise I won’t force you to buy anything. (but slots are limited, so it’s a good idea to get one before my calendar fills up).



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    Martin Stellar

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    Copywriter, ex-monk, marketer, singer, recovering artisan. Lover of life, helper of people.