Martin Stellar
Aug 30 · 2 min read

If they say no to your offer, they didn’t reject you — they just didn’t want what you have.

If someone opposes your plans or views, they think they’re right, and that doesn’t automatically mean they think you’re wrong — but if you make the assumption that they do think you’re wrong, and you respond defensively or you argue, things won’t improve.

When someone you trust tries to convince you of something you need to do or change and you resist or protest, you’re making your own views dominant to the less biased, outside-the-fishbowl view they have of your situation. That’s your prerogative, but they just might be able to see things that you can’t.

Three examples where you could be forgiven for being human — but also, three examples where you’d be making it about you — and that never helps. It just doesn’t.

What could you change in your offer or messaging, that would make the buyer want your thing?

What would happen if instead of arguing your point, you ask yourself what in your plans or views could be perceived as a threat to well-being, for that other person’s subconscious?

What if, instead of rejecting the advice, you ask ‘Tell me more?’

What would happen if you’d make it a rule to always switch from ‘about me’ to ‘about them’?



Originally published at

    Martin Stellar

    Written by

    Copywriter, ex-monk, marketer, singer, recovering artisan. Lover of life, helper of people.

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