The Procreation of Pain: Hurt People Hurt People

It’s easy to get upset when someone wrongs you, is being hurtful or aggressive.

But as my uncle likes to say: everyone always has a reason for what they do.

And when people behave in ways that are hurtful, it doesn’t help you to resent them or to get affected by it.

Because hurt people hurt people.

So when someone is trying to hurt you — consciously or by rote habitual behaviour — you can save yourself a lot of heartache if you stop and consider that sometime in that person’s life, something happened that caused them to act this way.

That’s not the same as taking the beating, and it doesn’t mean you should pardon or forgive everything.

Some things simply shouldn’t be tolerated, and in cases like that it’s good to stand up for yourself.

But even so: once you realise that this person acts this way because of hurt or trauma, you can rise above the effect it could have on you. It enables you to be aloof and immune to being infected by the hurt.

Because hurt often acts like a virus: once someone has it, it wants to get out and infect another person.

Which we know to be true: people who abuse others in whatever way have often been abused themselves.

So when your emotions are triggered, when someone is getting under your skin and you’re about to get upset, remember this:

Some pain simply tries to procreate. Hurt people hurt people.

Which means that whatever negativity is coming your way isn’t about you, at all.

And that will help you to not be affected, but to respond with compassion — whether that means silence, an embrace, or making it clear you won’t put up with it.


Originally published at MartinStellar.com.

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