Three confessions of an insomniac control-freak

Let me guess. You’ve read every article promising better sleep you could get your hands on. Yet, you’re reading my story. So probably, all the tips you’ve seen so far did not result in you sleeping much better, did they?

I’ll not tell you that if you would just follow my advice, you’ll sleep like a baby. No, because that would be baloney. If you’re a terrible sleeper like me, another tip will not help that much.

Sure, there’s plenty of scientific evidence that you can improve your sleeping pattern. You shouldn’t drink any caffeine before going to bed. And no, it’s not smart to have your phone in your bedroom. Also, don’t forget meditation. Oh no, that is essential to make you relaxed. …

The COVID-19 crisis feeds your negativity biases. Here’s how to stop a downward spiral into despair.

Did you know that the human brain retains more negative than positive memories? This is called the negativity bias.

All that negativity can quickly become toxic, especially now. Many of us face adversity or at least have to cope with lives that look radically different. We probably can’t reach the goals we set out for ourselves at the beginning of the year. A lot of us have to combine taking care of our children with working remotely. As a result, we start to worry, and these worries quickly lead to overpowering negative emotions.

As with many people, I sometimes suffer from darker moods. For that reason, I’m learning about several ways to resist these negative thought patterns through some heavy self-experimentation. I will show you five of these techniques that will make you more resilient, rooted in the science of positive psychology. …

Using the science of positive psychology to get back into the driver’s seat

The corona crisis led to massive amounts of lay-offs. Many companies “forgot” the humungous profit margins of the recent boom years; they are all too eager to side-track the employees who made it possible. Unfortunately, you don’t always control what happens to you. No matter how professional you are and regardless of what your mindset is.

Life happens to us while we’re planning. During these times, not everyone finds it easy to find a new job. …

How the COVID-19 outbreak emphasized my priorities

I always returned late from work. The job I had was demanding, and I had a commute of two hours or more each day. As a result, I was just in time to help my wife put the children in bed. Eating together with my family was out of the question, however. Even if I managed to leave early — a very big “if” — I still wouldn’t be home in time for dinner because of the usual traffic jams. Working for the same employer for six and a half years, I wasn’t that bothered with the commute at first.

Each time I would put the children in bed — my wife and I take turns — they would put up a nice show about how they wanted to go to bed with “mommy”. They made it very clear that I wasn’t the preferred option for them. As I considered myself to be a good father, I wasn’t too concerned. …

How to use Medium responses to increase your followers and interact at the same time

Great work doesn’t come out of nowhere. It comes from interactions with people you seek to change

— Seth Godin —

I chose Medium as a platform for my writing for one single reason: I hate SEO.
I love writing, though. The advantage of Medium is that the readers are already there. If you aim for curation and getting into a publication, you can reach a bigger audience pretty quickly. This as opposed to a personal blog, where this is much harder.

I’ve been on Medium since October 2019. I’ve had some successes, as a few articles got curated, and I’ve posted in a couple of the more prominent publications. The number of readers I got was ok, but I haven’t been wildly successful yet, which makes sense as I’ve just started on Medium. …

How I discovered the advantages of being a highly sensitive person

The day that my daughter was born was one of the happiest days of my life. From the moment that she grabbed my finger, I knew that I would be there for her as long as I live. My heart melted. This feeling would give me endless patience — and boy, was I’m going to need it.

As a baby, she cried a lot. She did not process lactose very well, and this caused constipation. When she saw too many people, she would be highly agitated and inconsolable. I started working again after my wife gave birth very soon. As soon as I came home after my workday, I often got a crying baby pushed into my arms. …

Gradually change your life to start a side-hustle and get more free time

A lot of us face the pressure of a 40-hour workweek. Many work a lot more. This often does not lead to lasting happiness, and you don’t have the freedom to make our own choices when working for a boss. No wonder so much is written about quitting your day job and starting a side hustle.

We’re often told in a belittling tone that we should suck it up and work in the night time when we’re done with our job. Sure, as if we don’t need to rest, commute, take care of our kids, exercise, or try to maintain our relationships. Or we’re told to stop working and start an enterprise of our own; to follow our passion. …

Meditation and positive psychology will do the trick

These are scary times. With the coronavirus outbreak, we not only fear for the health of loved ones but also our own. We need to support our immune system by making sure we get enough sleep, eating healthily, regularly washing our hands, and practicing social distancing.

There’s so much more you can do to boost your immune system, though. In the ’80s, researchers discovered that our immune system interacts with our brain to a high degree. Therefore, feelings and thoughts directly affect our ability to fight off disease.

Negative emotions and stress are detrimental to our health. Stress activates your sympathetic nervous system — your fight-or-flight response. When this system is activated, the blood in your body goes to your muscles, and bodily functions not directly vital for survival are shut down. This is great for immediate physical danger, but not so great if you have to fight off disease. …