escaping babylon

I remember the night it rained, when our dreams collided between the raindrops.

You with your hair finally succumbing to gravity, as the beads of water clung for dear life.

Deep in summer’s humid haze, the rain brought an unusually welcome touch to my skin, bringing life to the few hairs my arms sprouted.

Perched between the stone grey clouds sat the sun, too shy, too scared to come out.

“Here, take this.”

“You need it more than I do.”

Back and forth. We found humour in those little echanges. Not so much though that we didn’t find ourselves stood in the door of the nearest chicken shop — unsurprisingly, we had our options but we settled for Morley’s.

To me, it was a reminder of what once in the not too distant past. She just needed somewhere to give her body respite from the clouds and the rain that came from them.

Without the moon, the sun cannot rise.

“The feeling’s not mutual.”

You whisper under your breath. You let the moment take over you again, you silly prick.

Sorry, where was I?

The sun decided to come out between the clouds, once more. A warm, soothing touch from the sun’s rays was enough for me to appreciate the beauty of the moment.

The here, now was as good a place as any.

“You hungry?”

“Hmm not for any of this, I can make something. What do you fancy?”

“A curry would be cool, maybe a fish one.”

“Cool, I can be the soux and the DJ.”

To think, summer could have gone completely different if I didn’t seek out the company of friends.

“Nice, who are you thinking?”

“I’m in a lover’s rock mood. Carroll Thompson?”

“Now we’re taking it back, yeah that sounds like a plan.”

I could tell the rest of the day would somehow make up for the times I stayed up at night, hoping the moon wouldn’t reveal my secrets to the sun.

The stirring calmness of just being, where the weight of what’s been and the hinderance of what’s yet to come, is what I sought all those nights.

Ultimately, I think that’s what we all seek in our lives. Whether we’re grinding, working two jobs, doing a 9–5 or whatever, isn’t the end goal to get to a place where none of that has no link to our happiness?

Being here, right now, stood outside one of London’s many fried chicken purveyors with the sun finally showing its full confidence, the moment couldn’t escape me.

“I’m feeling some lover’s rock.”

“I’m down but let’s hang out in the park for a bit, at least whilst the sun’s around.”

As we walked down Brixton Road, my legs were as light as they’d ever been, as though the air bubbles in my 110s finally served their purpose. I know, and I’m sure that it had been my realisation that life really does just have to be. The Amazon doesn’t care for the strength of tomorrow’s current, it remains present in its flow.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, course.”

“Would you ever move abroad?”

“You mean permanently or for a while?”

“Either, to be honest.”

“I’ve been trying to leave for a while. It’s not like I’m wishing time away or anything, you know? I feel like I’ve outgrown my life here. Kinda like how a plant grows too big for the pot it was sold in.”

“I get what you mean, I’ve felt like that for some time as well.”

“What’s stopping you from leaving?”

“Life.”

“Isn’t that what you should be chasing?”

“I guess, when you put it like that. I don’t know, I need to leave but things are keeping me here.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Worry and confusion swept her face, as though the clouds has wiped the smile.

“Is what’s keeping you here important?”

The expression on her face had shifted from a relative sadness to a suspicious curiosity. So much so that a smile appeared where her lips met her cheeks. Her pace quickened, hastened even. She’d made her decision, internally at least, and it was as if she were on her way to catch a flight not to Kennington Park.

Do it, the sun was telling her as it appeared to give more life and energy to her.

As we continued walking, I sensed that the silence gave room to her thoughts to grow and the webs they sprouted.

By the time we reached the park, her hair had risen like flowers in the night. I like to think it was her change in energy, not the sun’s heat. Maybe both, our body’s react in the strangest ways to positivity.

Those rare moments of raw intimacy are where life can be found, sometimes in something as routine as planning what to have for dinner. If my mind were elsewhere, as it so often is for a lot of us when we’re trying to escape our pasts our embrace our futures, those dreams wouldn’t have collided.

The rain doesn’t sound so bad, after all.