None Of Us Know What We Want

What interests people? What do I like? Common questions that one doesn’t simply find an answer to. Let me introduce you to my mini thesis in addressing this problem.

Tech companies like Google, Amazon, and Facebook are constantly creating products and services that makes us feel hooked. We engage in their activities and in return, the only ones who are profiting are the companies themselves. Why can’t we think of activities that make us feel good and benefit us at the same time? Why can’t we seem to find a job that we enjoy? Why can’t we seem to find our passion? These big firms seem to know how to trick us into indulging in their products. They can influence our thinking and behavior by just looking at patterns — combining behavioral patterns of the individual with large scale consumer preferences. Every day, we’re providing our behavioral data and consumer preferences to these companies who then in turn create the products that keeps us hooked. By performing, among other activities, pattern recognition analyses on big data.

Hypothesis: you find what you like to do by both doing something and paying attention to what you’re doing in the moment — in a similar manner what the big tech companies are doing to know what we ‘like’.

Now what if we just copy what these companies are doing: paying attention to what we’re doing at a large scale and then develop products and services that fit these behavioral patterns. So, in short, why don’t we change the question from: ‘What do I like to do?’ (future-oriented) to ‘What am I doing right now?’ (present-oriented).

Really? That’s all? Well, hold on. Don’t expect the answer will come up right away. You must ask yourself this question over and over again. So, in a sense you’re tracking your own behavior — just like Google does.

Let’s look at an example:

*General but wrong approach*

You ask yourself a question:

The mind answers:

Now, what do you know? Exactly: nothing, because this is way too generic. Everybody likes these things. By looking at this problem from such a high-level perspective, there’s simply no way you’re able to evaluate the specific aspects which make YOU, as an individual, like those things. Thus, what can you do about this? Well, my proposed solution is as follows:

*Good approach*

You ask yourself a question:

The mind answers:

Do you see what’s happening here? This is what you want to know: a detailed report of your skills and preferences. Remember that this is an ongoing process. So maybe you’re a defender within a football team (or replace with: worker within company X), but you’re not specifically happy about it. You then ask yourself the question ‘What am I doing?’ and if the answer is: ‘Mainly running behind an opponent’ then it is way easier to assess whether this is something you like or not, because it’s tangible.

Before making any drastic changes, first you can look at the possibility to adjust your role within that position (or replace with: different role within your current job). For instance, by focusing on the role of a playmaker. Try that and ask the same question. Still not happy? So maybe you’re a midfielder or an attacker. Still not happy? Maybe you need to play at a different team (or replace with: different company culture/colleagues) or you need to do a completely different sport (or replace with: different type of job).

By asking yourself this question regularly, you will get to know the specific unique aspects that YOU, as an individual, like and don’t like. The earlier in life you ask yourself this question, the easier it becomes to steer towards the right direction. Also, by looking at the specific tasks within your current position, you decrease the need for any radical changes — and with that, the need to worry whether you have chosen the right career or not.

Now I’d like to approach this idea without being too complex about it. Let’s assume that there are two different kinds of people on this planet: thinkers and doers. Thinkers are better at thinking and doers are better at, you name it, doing:

The extreme thinker (left) and the extreme doer (right)

Extreme thinker

Problem:

• Only assesses information but doesn’t have enough behavioral data (experience) to know the specifics
• They tend to try a lot of different things, but only for a short amount of time (usually until the learning curve decreases)

Result:

• Not enough experience to make a good choice

Extreme doer

Problem:

• Has all the behavioral data (experience) of the activity, but never thinks about assessing this data (whether it’s the right thing to do)
• They tend to do one activity (job) for a very long time

Result:

• No high-level perspective to choose from

Common thoughts of the extreme thinker (left) and the extreme doer (right)

So, what’s the solution for both the thinker and the doer? I propose the following:

For both situations it’s to find balance, both in thinking and doing. Of course, it’s easier said than done, but still, it pushes you towards the best of both worlds. In my opinion, you should approach this solution by doing what you’re already good at:

For an extreme thinker this may help:

Think about what you need to do to become the best at what you do. You’ll see that there are many opportunities (and different challenges) waiting for you in that one activity. By doing this, you’re forced to make small actionable plans (which are easier to execute for a thinker). Thinkers will be constantly challenged (as the learning curve remains steep) and at the same time gain a lot of experience.

And doers:

Do something completely random every once in a while. Start small and make bigger decisions when you feel comfortable in the process. So, for example, go out for dinner every two weeks to a restaurant that offers unknown foreign dishes (small), or do voluntary work for a committee within your company (big). Based on all previous acquired behavioral data, doers will directly know whether it’s a one-time experience or a new passion.

To conclude, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a thinker or a doer: none of us know what we want. And probably, we are all thinkers or doers in different aspects of our lives. But I think, the solution lies in finding this doing-thinking balance through using your already-known strength (i.e. doing or thinking).