Spoonie Secrets: Issue #7

A safe space for people with chronic illness where they can share deepest and darkest secrets anonymously.

Image by Pixabay

For more details on how this works and the story behind it, please click here.

1. Ever since I refused to be the me I’ve been my whole life I am lost and lonely and desperate. I am jealous of everything and everyone. People can’t stand being around me for long from my negative vibe, depressed mood, and the uncomfortable feelings from my anxieties.

2. Over summer, I quit my job to go back to school. I was so excited! My husband and I were now living on just his income. But eight weeks before graduating with my associates degree, I had to drop the classes; I was falling behind due to a flare the put me in the hospital. I now feel like a financial burden to my husband because we can’t get that money back. I feel like I wasted his money and let him down as a partner.

3. I feel guilty because I know someone is worse off than me when I complain about my symptoms. I can still work and function for the most part but I feel like I’m getting worse and that scares me.

4. I understand no one wants to listen to the agony I feel most of the time. My husband gets angry when I feel worse or have a new diagnosis. He is always thinking of the suffering it will cause him. I wish we could trade places for a day maybe then he could realize how lucky he is!

5. I avoided all the mirrors in the house for about a year. I couldn’t bear looking at the woman staring back at me. She lost a lot of weight and hair. She was pale as a sheet. A very discouraging sight.

6. I used my health issue as an excuse to leave the job I hated.

7. I’ve pushed my body to the limits because I wanted to hang out with you.

8. I doubt some people when they say they’ll pray for my health.

Your Turn

Which confession resonates with you the most?

Do you have a chronic illness? What is your deepest secret? If you’re ready to share, send it (anonymously) here.

Did you miss the previous issues? Read them here.