You write beautifully. Having been fat since babyhood, I’ve collected quite a few stories similar to this. My heart has been broken every day of my long life in one way or another. I stopped trusting people and any interest shown to me by them. I am single because I don’t trust my ability to have a partner who won’t be abusive. When people react to my looks they tell me a great deal about themselves. They are not motivated to treat me kindly and impress me, so they show what they are really like at the outset. There is something useful about being judged! My life on a daily basis has been exceedingly difficult, as experienced by many others. But I love life, take care of myself, and make the best of it in any way I can. Remember, we are all wonderful, strong, and amazing people. Don’t believe what those fragile beings tell you.