Feedback is a window into how you are perceived by those around you. Your job is to:
- Take that feedback
- Process it (Are you surprised? Is this the same feedback you have received before?)
- Identify the causes behind it (“Why does Susie perceive me as being disorganized?”)
- And then decide whether or not to modify your behavior accordingly.
It’s easy to take feedback personally. But don’t.
Instead, understand that other people’s perception of you is shaped by their own values, experiences and goals. To one person, you might be “too direct”, whereas to another person, you might be “a strong leader.”
Consider it a piece of data, ask clarifying questions, take notes, say thank you and then decide what to do with that information.
The rest of this article is a bit of a roadmap for getting helpful feedback. At Marlow, we err on the side of ACTION. Go read and then ask 5 people for feedback today.
How to Prepare for Feedback:
Your main job is to make sure your feedback provider feels comfortable and safe from start to finish. This means controlling your emotions as best as you can.
One way to control your emotions is to try to create a hypothesis for how people might answer your questions. Consider the feedback you have received in the past and do your best to be self aware.
- Write down your strengths. What are you proud of?
- Write down your weaknesses. Why are they weaknesses in the first place. How important is it to you to reverse these weaknesses?
- Identify one weakness you would like to improve in the next few weeks and months. Maybe you are really working on being a better communicator or you are trying to strengthen your technical skills in a particular area.
It’s possible that you will feel sad or defensive while receiving feedback. One way to handle this is to say: “This feedback is a bit difficult for me to hear and it’s evoking a pretty strong emotion. Do you have any suggestions for how I might improve in this area?”
REMEMBER: This is not the time for excuses. This is also not the time to give other people feedback (as tempting as that might be…).
Who to Ask for Feedback:
Now that you have a hypothesis for your own strengths and weaknesses, and you have identified a top priority, create a list of five people you can message today.
This list should be well-rounded. Rather than asking 5 co-workers for feedback, think outside the box. Here is a list of potential feedback providers.
- Someone you know personally (i.e., your sister, friend, cousin, mother).
- Someone you know through a hobby or social activity (i.e., a friend from the gym, someone in your charity group, etc)
- A co-worker on your team who you enjoy working with.
- A co-worker on your team who you don’t always enjoy working with.
- A current or former client.
- Your boss.
- A co-worker on a different team.
- A former co-worker.
- Your spouse or partner.
- A co-worker who reports directly to you.
How to Ask for Feedback:
Start by sending a message ahead of time and scheduling an in-person conversation or phone call. Feedback via email is a bad idea!
Email Template:
“Hi [Name].
I’m working on identifying my strengths and weaknesses so I can grow professionally. Given that you know me quite well, I was hoping you would be able to give me feedback. Can we setup a time to speak later this week or next week?
I’ve included the questions below so you can think about them before our conversation. I would really appreciate your honest feedback, as anything less than that won’t help me in this process.
- From your perspective, what are my greatest strengths? Can you give me examples?
- Where do you think I could improve? Can you give an example?
- I would really like to improve [insert one priority skill here]. Do you have any ideas or suggestions on how I might improve in this area?
Thank you in advance. Please let me know if you have any questions.
Best,
[YOUR NAME]
How to Follow-Up on Feedback
Great. So you’ve received feedback from several people — Excellent!
- Don’t forget to send a thank you message. Something like: “Hi [NAME]. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with me. Your suggestions were insightful and I’m looking forward to applying these ideas.”
- Filter and prioritize the feedback you received. Hopefully you took notes during this feedback session. Now it’s up to you to decide what to do with this feedback. Take it. Leave it. Put it aside for a few days and come back to it.
- Ask for more! The first time someone gives you feedback, they’re trying to figure out how you will respond. If you didn’t get too defensive and you listened to what they had to say, chances are high that they’ll be wiling to give you feedback in the future. Create a calendar reminder to ask for feedback again (for co-workers, this might be in 4 weeks, for your manager it might be weekly and for other people in your life it might be once every 6 months depending on how often you see them.)
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