‘What’s it this time?’

I read the text message I typed in again ‘Sorry, can’t make it today. Am sick.’, and click on SEND. Half a minute later I get a text back ‘What’s it this time?’.

I sink back into my bed and stare at the ceiling. Another day passes by. Another day I miss.

No matter what I do, it seems like too much and my body shouts ‘Fuck it!’. My bed is like a part of me and I get sicker everyday. Sick of people, of life and of myself.

I watch a video and think ‘this is going to be me one day’, and then I turn off the computer. One day for sure..

It’s time to get back in bed.

I don’t feel well. Not well enough to meet people or get back out there and live.

Another day I miss.


God, how I hate myself for being this way. I wake up. I try to go outside and wish it could always be like that.

I go back home. Everything is so exhausting.

I’m not feeling well.

The next morning I send another text. The reply is the same as always:

‘What’s it this time?’

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