THE RAINBOW COLOR, BLUE

Ben opened his eyes and jumped up from bed, suddenly and violently, as though someone had grabbed his shoulders and had woken him. He shrieked and panted heavily in fear: he was dreaming. He looked around the room in confirmation that what he saw wasn’t real. He needed someone to tell him he was alone in the room; that he wasn’t seeing things. It took him a while to calm himself down and breath normally. He then wore his slippers lazily and walked to the bathroom, just like someone being pushed from behind. Quickly he rinsed his mouth and and washed his face — a habit he does anytime he’s lazy to do the proper brushing.

Benedict Okalor is a guy of 24years and the only son in the family of 9 children. He is a student in engineering department, in the University of Zaria. He’s simply an introvert who deals with few friends, although he enjoys his own company more than any other thing. In the list down of Ben’s qualities, one wouldn’t forget his cute face and physique. His lips, complexion and then everything. In fact, he’s the “Adonis” on earth and the male version of “Aphrodite”(god and goddess of beauty and desire). Ben has this likeable personality that makes people like to mingle with him.

Ben went back to his room and sat in bed. His mind ran through many things, then it stopped. It’s morning. Sunday morning. Ben hates Sundays, especially the service aspect of it. He sees people that goes to church as hypocrites and therefore believes that a lot of non-Christians would make heaven after all.
Ben picked his phone from where he plugged it across the bed. He saw three unread messages from two people — “Hi dear, good morning… I miss you badly”, “When do you say you’re coming home?” and “I’m in a mess now, I’m coming over”. The first two messages were from lizzy, his girlfriend; while the last and third message was from Sam, his friend. He quietly pushed his phone to the foam, not bothered to reply any of the messages. Then he lay his back on the foam and zoomed off in thought.

Night has come and they both have retired to bed. Ben felt a hand moving slowly through his body. The way those fingers run on him, makes his whole body vibrate. The tingling, burning and pleasant sensation left his whole body on fire. He could hear himself moan. Then he felt the movement of a tongue on his earlobe.
“What are you doing, Sam? “ he said fidgeting.
“Why not? I’ve always known you’re one of us. So why the pretense?” Sam murmured huskily.
Everywhere seemed to be quiet for some minutes. Those fingers then went back to its usual work on Ben’s body. This time, he couldn’t control himself, so he let him have his way.

Ben stood in front of the mirror in his room; he was looking at the mirror, but seeing nothing. Looking at his face, one would know he’s bittered and bothered. He thought about his home which he had not visited for nearly three(3) years. He thought of his sick father and the numerous messages of “come home” he receives from his mother and sisters. Ben felt like a monster. Deep inside him, he hated his home. Back there they make him feel less a man. They laugh at his speeches, making him feel like a moron. He could remember how he was made to wear girl’s clothes as a child. Growing up in the midst of 8 girls wasn’t so fun at all, hence making him feel it led to his sexual identity.

His mind flashed back to Sam. His cute face and his hotness the night they made love, made him smile. The thought of the evening he sent him out came to his head. It happened that he saw Sam discussing and laughing loudly with a girl. Ben looked at Sam’s face and saw happiness radiating on it; he then felt a tinge of jealousy. Ben, almost immediately Sam came home, ordered him to pack his things and leave, irrespective of Sam’s accommodation issues.
“I should have given him the chance to explain” he murmured bitterly. He has been ignoring Sam’s calls, messages and chats since his departure. “Pride!” he gasped.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I’ll come and meet you when am back from home.” he said to himself and left.

It was evening and Ben sat on a pavement at the corridor of his home receiving cool breeze. He was engrossed in his phone and smiling to himself.
“Who’s Sam?” a voice asked from behind. The question came surprisingly. “Who could have known of us? “ he thought aloud. The voice was that of Lizzy, Ben’s girlfriend. She’s a sweet girl of about twenty one(21) years old. She has a slender body, an average height and then, she is black-skinned.
“How” Ben said in askance.
“I saw it. I saw the texts. I saw everything” she shrieked, almost in tears.
“You went through my phone, why?” he thundered.
“I had to. I have to know the reason why you don’t care. Am i not good enough for you?” she said, now in tears.

Ben angrily stood from where he sitted and stormed inside the house. On his way, he heard voices in the sitting room. He heard his mother wailing and others whispering.
“See him standing there” she cried, pointing woefully at him. “Chinaza, you won’t kill me! How do I explain this?” she fell to the ground crying.
Chinaza was the native name given to Ben. He dislikes it because it makes him look more feminine.
“This is a taboo!” A voice said, almost shouting. “He’s is just a bad boy” another voice said.
Everywhere seemed to be quiet for a while, except from the sound of his mother’s cries. Ben still stood there, not knowing what to do or say.
“He’s not a bad boy” a voice was heard. Everyone directed his/her attention to the direction of the voice. Even the crying mother stopped at once.
“He’s not a bad boy” the voice continued. “He’s a boy who has done something bad” the voice added. That was Ben’s father, Okalor, speaking. “I used to be like you till I met your mother. You can still change, if you wish to. It’ll only take you time.” he rounded off.
Ben heaved a sigh of relief, at least somebody understands him. He knew this would come up one day, but how was he to know the day was near. He turned his back and left for his room.
As he walked through the door of his room, before him a shadow. From within it calls, “This is your identity, you have to live with it”. “I can’t be ashamed of who i am” he murmured, like he was talking to the shadow.
He backed his bag and inserted his room key into the door keyhole.
“I can help you if you want” it was Lizzy’s voice.
“Never mind, thanks” Ben said and walked away.