FORMAL VS INFORMAL

Hurray! It's another sunday!!! So can we muse together a little?

Today, I am reminded of a set discussions that ensued amongst a group of ladies.

I being a part of them.

The topics ranged from family dynamics to education and then to religion, which is where today's write up will stem from.

I'm not sure why the subject of religion almost always pops up when a group of "unknowns" find themselves in a space for a period of time. Lol.

It might be a Nigerian thing, I think.

But the topics are either about tithing, catholics vs. vs pentecostals, biblical interpretations, and the short list goes on.

On that day however, it was a most unusual sub- topic of discuss.

'Mode of dressing to church'.

I know what you might be thinking, that the conversation danced a lot around the question of modesty, right?

Wrong!

Rather, it was about style of dressing to church.

How should everyone dress to church? Formal vs Informal

It was a weird conversation for me and again as most times, I was alone on this one.

"I find it shocking when I see people wear jeans to church. They look very unserious", one amongst us said.

The other responded "the same thing I quarrelled with my husband about for years, he liked to wear jeans to church and wanted our boys to do same. I stood my ground till he understood that it's not a joke, it's an insult for people to see my husband as an unserious person."

I was perplexed and I couldn't mask it.

"So you mean wearing jeans or converses to church was a mark of seriousness?"

They were equally alarmed at my question or they at least seemed to be.

A small back and forth ensued.

Then I brought in the place of cultural differences between africans and 'abroadians', "it sure affects our dress codes", I said.

Still no concurrence.

Then another made a direct comparism in this way "I think the problem is respect. If you are working a corporate job like in a bank a court or school, will you show up to your office dressed as unseriously as in a converse and a regular jean?"

"But God is not my boss" I continued.

"He is my Father and I don't need to be cautious of how I'm dressed when I come to Him. However, if I'm in a public gathering for His name sake, my maxim will be 'modesty' which I think God will be more interested in as opposed to style. Whether native, corporate or casual, God cares nothing of."

I honestly thought my response had struck a reverberating chord until I heard the next response.

"Well, it will depend on the kind of jeans." There are some jeans that you can wear everywhere but certainly not to church.

Then I asked, "what of week day services, are you allowed to dress any differently?"

The answers varied, more uncertain but still discordant to my disrespectful opinion that anyone can dress in anyway to church as long as they were decent.

But even decency which in this case is a synonym for "modesty" is another question.

Because isn't it most times it is ruled by man made doctrines and even culture.

For example, I sat in church and watched in horror one sunday when a worker was asked to go back home to change to something more modest.

She was wearing a sleeveless dress.

For some, this will come as a shock but for others, pretty normal.

Simple reason...doctrine.

I understood that workers in that denomination are mandated to dress with sleeves and she violated that rule but I thought it extreme to turn anyone back from church for such reasons.

For some this will come as shocking, for others, pretty normal.

Simple reason...doctrine.

I understand that a general rule might state that there's a need to enforce complaince in order for others to follow, but isn't church a rather different setting?

If such enforcements are applied in church, then the "word" is probably not taking root as it should.

Instead of us struggling with enforcement and compliance, would it not be better of we allowed the Spirit and the Word do the job.

The same worker that was sent out of church, would later leave the work force and stop going to church completely.

It took quite a bit of counsel to bring her back into the fold.

Typical example of forcing a crawler not just to walk but run.

I'll stop here for now.

Lest someone writes these words again as I recieved them a short while back... "we are praying for you."

Like a lost soul. Lol!

But I also am praying for me too because I honestly don't know how I mostly wind up on one end of the table looking like sister Jezebel, especially when it pertains to discussions on doctrines, legalism and religiosity."

Would you please pray for me too?

Moreso, I’d like to know where you fall in this subject matter... formal vs informal?

Just to be clear, I am completely 'ambi-formal'

And please don't ask what it means because I too don't know. Hehehe

Conversations with Maryjane
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