UX is breaking my brain.

I tried to explain it and define it to someone outside the field and it sucked. I can only describe it in the way that I think about it while I’m designing. A constant shift of thinking from a macro to a micro level, simultaneously thinking about the proper hierarchy, balancing client business goals, current trends, remembering the system for consistency, assessing each individual piece’s value within the system but also within its immediate location, introducing user delight whenever appropriate, organizing, prioritizing all of the above, throw in some deadlines to add fuel to the fire and if I’m lucky, I get to have some input on visual design, which is another beast.

Visual design let’s me relax and it’s quiet. I don’t hear all the chatter in my head and doubts, insecurities as much. I lean into it more with feelings, emotions, and my taste and aesthetic. It’s my happy place. It’s a place where time no longer exists, I feel like I’m at a party — I literally dance in my chair and push pixels around. I like looking at the space between things.

These are my opposing strengths and idk how to make them play nice. UX has depleted all my resources that it literally hurts to continue to UX something.