“You might be the Juiciest Peach on the tree…

but there’ll still be someone out there who doesn’t like peaches.”

Truth is, we love to be liked and accepted by everyone who ever meets us, but that’s simply not possible. There are so many people that you’ll come across: you will become friends with some, fall in love with others, work with a few, and dislike a few others.

This is a thought you have to come to terms with if you want to go through this life unbothered by what others think of you — yes, even if those others are members of your inner circle.

We love to judge other people; that’s one of the reasons talent shows are popular. Think about it: they are built on the premise that you are worthy of praise only if someone who has a certain degree of alleged expertise, judges so. Yet, I do think that there is a lot to be said about such shows and the unrealistic expectations they put on extremely talented individuals to look “good” by some standard or other, to sing or dance, even to be a certain way.

The bottom line is that we strive to be liked and we are taught that it’s a good thing if we are.

The dilemma that we get presented with time and time again then, is this: should we change merely because we don’t fit someone else’s standards of who we should be? Should we tone ourselves down in order for someone else to feel more comfortable with themselves? Ultimately, should we become a person that we are not, just because someone else wants us to?

NEWSFLASH: NONE of these questions should have an affirmative answer. There’s only one option in this multiple choice test and that is N O.

Criticism and judgment are two very different things: we should learn how to receive the former and brush off the latter. We should also strive to not get butt-hurt if we receive either one, especially not on the grounds that the person on the giving end doesn’t like us.

Nowadays, I see judgment as a reflection of the person giving it and not of me. Sure, I still have weak moments when I get very upset over judgy remarks and the constant need of the other person to “fix me”.

There’s no fixing to be done in the way that I am and I exist. Yes, I am healing from trauma like a lot of people are, but my trauma doesn’t define me.

I love to wear bright and colorful or fancy clothes sometimes, and I love to dress like a boy some others; I love to dye and color my hair in all sorts of shades, and I love to wear dainty earrings on my ears and multiple necklaces on my neck; I love to eat vegan food, and work out and run and meditate in the morning; I love to write and read for hours and listen to all the genres of music that set my soul on fire, and I love to crazy-dance to that music when I am very happy… the list goes on and on and on. If I change these things just because someone else doesn’t like them or because they want me to, then I would be truly lost.

I don’t want to fit in and I don’t want to be liked by anyone who doesn’t accept me for who I am wholeheartedly… and honestly, neither should you.