I remember you…..

#4- My first blind date.

Me “You promise he’s nice”

We will call my friend Sue

Sue “Oh yeah, the sweetest”

Sue had become my best friend. We were inseparable, she made me laugh, and treated me like a sister. I had told her what had happened that year. My bad choices I had made, surprised, she shared similar situation. #4 walked up to us at the rodeo; public place, far away from trucks and beds; with my best friend at my side I felt safe.

Success, a REAL first date. We shared a ice cream and he got a jacket for me after the sun went down. Spring rodeos can get cold in Utah. He gave me his phone number and his AOL ID so we could message each other. Funny how times have changed.

That was only the beginning with #4. It was like an old western love song. He took me horse back riding, fishing, to rodeos, and out to eat. Now this is fun, this must be dating. He never pushed me into bed, we always would meet with other friends, he was so sweet. #4 is my country song I will always remember, it was a summer fling and for the first time I felt like it was my choice. We were camping out by the lake, under the stars. It was like something out of a movie. We had left the group and we were playing near the water, and one minute we were laughing the next we were going for a swim. I didn’t want to get my clothes wet. I think I surprised him when I was undressing, but like a dance he followed my lead. We went skinny dipp’n. Oh it was exciting and cold. He held me close, and kissed me soft. We were spotted and soon joined by others, but in that moment I felt it. For the first time just for a moment, under the moon and stars I felt it, and it was beautiful.

#4 may never know that he saved me from becoming a nun, or a serial killer on the loose for Revenge. But he did, summer was coming to a end, we would be in different schools, different towns, we both knew it was coming to a end. I remember the stars, I even remember the smell of his cologne. One last summer night with friends, he pulled me outside, laid down a blanket and asked if I wanted to watch the star’s in his arms. “Yes” I wanted to, he asked me, it was a real choice. So was the amazing memories we made that night. I have to be honest it was the first time I realized that all men were different, size wise. The first time I enjoyed being that close to another person. The first time a chunk of my soul wasn’t taken from me, I had chosen to share it.

#4 asked me out one last time. I thought maybe we could make it work, maybe we could figures out these feelings I had. No. Like all songs, they end. I will never forget my Hot summer we enjoyed together, or how I felt. I will remember you with a smile on my face and thank you for helping me change my sex life and knowledge about dating. Lesson learned that sex can be happy and exciting, not scary and sad.