Trying to see yourself in another. Be balanced by another. He got pulled away from himself. Nothing was quite the same as it was, as it ever will be. And we struggled to see the realness of today with our deadened eyes. Everything you were was evaporating, you become invisible in these shining, colorful specs, light like sand, washing through you. The shower of gold sea dust, the beach of golden glitter waits before us and it reflects the sky and sea in cascading waves of blue.
The sea as we ran towards it
We ran towards the water, leaving our clothes awash in glitter. The sun, though blocked by clouds, beat down harshly to the beat of my heart. A trance in the background. Melodies swirled in the wind, I could hear them. You saved my soul and I was no longer yours. I belonged to the sea.
My home it could be a veritable fairyland of dreams. We sit in the distance waiting for the sun to go down and our home to materialize under the stars. Nothing fell out of the sky. The sun was our warmth and now fire. We are now covered in this glitter.
He’s paradoxical, he says.
Nothing, could any longer, be anything new. I knew the script had been saved but was yet unaccounted for. Cars began to sing in the distance, and I was left, contemplative, isolated, alone in thoughts. Everything was disappearing again in dust and nothingness and I huddled into the glittery sand, emerged again cloaked in it. Thinking my day was yet to arrive. Everything had been so simple, before this.
And I repented the days of anger and I repented my sorrow, for what is a day spent in anxiety and grief, grief of guilt? I repented worshipping Mary Magdalene and the Virgin, that I should be forgiven. And the sinner shall be forgiven for her sins. But she must atone.
And so I resolved to spend my days and nights like this, here, watching the sea and the sun set, upon my bed of glitter. Clothes strewn about and under me, I prayed and I thought. Emotion mixed with mind and body, I felt my soul shaking for my glittery doubt. Doubt is driven out by transcendence. A falling in, and a bleeding into dust, dusk descends; amanecer. You were my friend all along. Knowing, believing in the other. Inside, outside, fall in. Panic! Withdraw. Sink. Still. Sink. Breathe. Spring! Transcendence. Thought. Wildebeest on the Serengeti. Sprinting. Falling. Fall in. Deeper this time.
Sicknesses of history. You must overcome. The capitalist class, digging deeper this time, it must be shed off, the light shined upon it, the darkness driven out. We shall overcome the sickness that has engulfed the planet, by breathing in and out, just like we always did.
Am I allowed to be here? Self-consciousness, in private places that are not yours. You make them yours. And everyone thought it, that they belonged in the place that they were. Nothing could take away their right to exist.