Amazeballz Stories Day 1/100: Rejecting the Yardstick from Another Planet

On Sept 8 it will be one year since I took the first amazeballz challenge. This year has marked the largest and the most conscious shift in my 44 years on this planet.

My goal right now is to find me, the me behind all the “have to’s and ought to’s”.

I look back at the last year and all the work I have done, working on the Art of Story book (incomplete), the Speaking Classes, the speaking gigs, the workshops, the zillions of videos and social media posts — and all I feel is that it was not enough. I didn’t break through. Sigh.

I have been striving. Striving to get the word out. Striving to find you, my audience. Striving to make the “right” thing. Striving to ignore those in the market who complain and criticize the work of others — but silently judging and feeling hateful. When I look at that litany of harried effort, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like a failure. I feel unworthy. I feel defeated.

I have been chasing success, but measuring my success with a yardstick from another planet.

It’s time for me to TRULY redefine success.

STEP ONE: KNOW ME. The more I understand Mary, the shining soul inside me who loves to sing and tell stories and teach and play, the more my life has light and joy. I want to know me more.

STEP TWO: EXPRESS ME-NESS. When I speak from the heart, share from my truth, live from my light and courageously put myself out there, even when I doubt my worthiness — those days are the best. I feel peace. I feel empowered. I feel wholehearted. I want to live every day wholeheartedly.

STEP THREE: ADD VALUE TO OTHERS. My work and my expression of self starts with me and gets laser focused when I consider others. Everything I do in step one and two finds lasting purpose in serving others. I start by focusing on my family, my kids, my husband, my friends. How can I be my best self for them. And then I look for the opportunities to serve others, to add value in a space where my gift is exactly what is needed.

This amazeballz journey is about that.

When I look back at the last year through this lens I see so much growth, so much learning, so much accomplishment.

I have gotten to know me more deeply than ever before. I spend time with me, with no numbing, no distraction. I ask myself hard questions and sit with myself in my tears and in my joy.

I have been expressing my truth. Truth I did not even know was hidden. My truth is sometimes scary, sometimes shocking, and always powerful in moving me forward.

I see that my work adds value to others. I have taught so many classes and workshops and seminars that have made a difference. And I am starting to see new channels and new opportunities every day.

Amazeballz. Possibility. What will the next 100 days offer?

On my walk today I came upon a woman blowing bubbles. At first I thought it was child. As I got closer I saw her clearly: middle aged, purple hair, Stevie Nicks clothes flowing, with a bucket of homemade bubbles, joyfully blowing bubbles across the street. I didn’t take her picture because her act of creation felt to pure and intimate. I made eye contact and smiled. And I took a picture in my heart. Flying her freak flag, that one! How I love the human spirit.

Hi! I’m Mary — a chiropractor, a writer, a marketer, and a teacher.

I am the founder of The Art of Story Project, an online business which coaches speakers and content creators to use story to become more powerful influencers.

Press the ❤ below if you liked this story. It means a lot to me. Plus, it helps other people to discover it.

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