Leaving a job and starting again
I left my job. Not one of those instances where I’ve saved up enough money to take a year off, or even a few months, just out of pure misery, a bad fit, and a bad manager (a story for another day). I never thought that I would find myself in a work situation that was so bad, unhealthy, and stressful to the point of being toxic for me and my personal relationships, but it happened and I am learning a lot about what I want and don’t want next.
I knew from a young age that I would never be someone that would endure unhappiness for long periods of time — or at least I would do as much as I could to leave an unhappy situation. When relationships go bad, I can’t linger around for a few years to see if things get better. When I am unhappy in a place I live, or have an itch to be somewhere else— I move to another apartment, city or country. And apparently when work becomes unbearable, I get out.
A lot of people have responsibilities and fears in life that prevent them from leaving their jobs, even when they are very unhappy. Ultimately, for me, it came down to a realization that everyday at work I felt tense, anxious and angry, and I had no support at work.
I understand that I was able to leave my job because of a number of characteristics about my personality and supportive people in my life, like:
- I don’t have children or dependents to take care of.
- My boyfriend was supportive of me leaving and even though the last thing is to be dependent on him financially, there is a last resort buffer if I really do run out of money.
- I have been unemployed before and have had $0 in my bank account after college. It is not new to me, and I know that I can pick up odd jobs and part-time work to keep me going.
- I do not have a trust fund or parents who I would ask to lend me $$ (this is not a reason for leaving a job, but it also shows it’s possible without having this!)
Now that I don’t have a job it is amazing how many new thoughts, inspirations, fears, and insecurities enter my thoughts every minute. Stuff that “jobs” really help you to blur out — the good and the bad.
Writing this blog is one of those “thoughts” and “fears” I have time and space in my head for now. I want to write about what I am passionate about (doesn’t everyone?)— people, travel, culture, wine, food, and human rights. However, I am afraid that my writing won’t be interesting to others —like, who really wants to read another travel blog, or a blog that talks about travel and a bunch of other random things? Or maybe there can never be enough when it comes to perspectives on people and cultures, and you just have to sift through it all ‘til you find something that you identify with.
For what it’s worth I am going to try, write, iterate, be myself, and most of all, avoid another bad work situation.