I need you to remember what you know from feminism: that blaming individuals for the harassment they experience isn’t supportive or effective.
A request from your fat friend: what I need when we talk about bodies.
Your Fat Friend
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So true! After gaining a lot of weight over a short period of time, I noticed strangers treating me differently in public, and I’d be bewildered: Why won’t that Starbucks clerk make eye contact? Why was that cashier so rude to me but nice to the others? Then I’d get home and see myself in a mirror and remember, “Oh yeah, I’m fat now, that’s why.” Being told by my friends that it was my imagination — that their perception of my experience (despite them not even being there) was more valid than my own, was insulting and patronizing. I have been relatively thin, and I’ve been fat — it is NOT my imagination.

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