HOW I ENDED UP YELLING AT AN OLD COUPLE!

My latest travel fiasco is quite funny now, but not so much when it happened. First, my rental car wouldn’t start as I was on my way to the airport, but only a mile away as I had stopped for gas, so they came to get me.

Since I was trying to get an earlier flight, I still made it, but I had to give up my first class seat for coach. But I thought, how bad could it be? That’s when I got seated in between a mom and her four kids. She was traveling alone (bless her!), so I got to sit on one side of the aisle with two of her kids who were very unhappy travelers.

But that’s not the bad part. That happened after I landed and was rushing through the airport to get to my driver so I could get home. As I approached the large revolving exit doors an elderly couple squeezed in front of me, so I took the next compartment area. As soon as I left the air conditioned terminal and got into that revolving door area it was like walking into an oven since it’s been over 105 in Portland. I instantly felt the heat through my entire body, but hey, it’s like 20 seconds right??? Wrong!

What the older couple didn’t seem to understand is you have to keep walking in these doors, they are motion activated. So after they moved in far enough for me to get in and this random guy behind me, they stopped. I could hear them, and here is how it went…

Her: “Oh no, I think it’s broken Harold”

Harold: “Oh dear. Maybe it will come back on in a second.”

Me (muffled from the compartment behind): “Just keep walking!”

Her: “It’s not going, maybe you should get out your cellular phone in case we need to call someone.” (she said cellular)

Me: “JUST KEEP WALKING HAROLD!”

Guy behind me: “Jesus, we’re going to die in here before they move.”

Harold: “Can we go backward?”

Me: “Please just keep moving forward Harold.”

Harold’s wife: “What? Do we know her?”

Me: “JUST KEEP FU$KING WALKING HAROLD, ONE STEP, TWO STEPS!”

Harold: “Oh… (takes a step) it’s working.”

Then he stops again!

Harold’s wife: “It’s stopped again”

Me: “Oh my God Harold, just keep walking, DO NOT STOP!!!”

Guy behind me: “Yup, this is how we’re going to die, we’re going to suffocate.”

Harold: “Ok, we’ll keep walking and see what happens.”

Me: “Good Harold, keep going, couple more steps, don’t stop Harold.”

Then he does it, he moves forward far enough for the doors to start moving and let him outside. Me and random guy behind me get out next. Then random guy says “You better keep fu$king walking Harold, just keep walking man!”

Meanwhile, my driver is reminding me of the $5 fee you pay if you are more than five minutes late to their arrival. Dude.. just don’t!!!!

Note- to Harold and Mrs. Harold, I’m very sorry I yelled at you!