How to Hurt Like a Man
Imran Siddiquee

This is a very important, clarifying message. Thank you, Imran.

Your message explains that men learn to try to build up their egos in order to be dominant, by putting so called inferiors down. These so called inferiors are women; homosexual men; in the hierarchy of the male world, people of color; and, other perceived inferiors who can’t fight back. It truly explains the macho white supremacist outlook as well as the cultural Muslim one, amongst others. Some of the “others” is the mostly unrecognized need for men, in general, to feel superior within their lives and families.

I remember years ago, when I was at the University of Arkansas, I met up with a small group of people in a walkway of the campus, where we were discussing some point of learning. A guy from Pakistan said something that I did not totally agree with. I spoke up and said what I thought. This guy looked at me with daggers in his eyes. He could have killed me for verbally disagreeing with him. I didn’t care at all. I was an American woman attending an American University in America but, that was a cultural reaction in him, which I understood it to be at the time. I just didn’t understand its origin.

A question I have is why men need to learn to feel superior at all? In my experience, women don’t have a need to feel superior. And, this may be part of the problem. It can just be too overwhelming and too draining for women to fight a constant battle for equality against a seemingly innate need that men feel for superiority.

It is invaluable that you can parse these motivations as you have, and share them with us. We are the richer now for being able to understand them. But, your analysis tells us that all of us have a long way to go towards making equality for everyone the norm. Somehow we need to address this seemingly innate need men have for superiority.

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