Why Do We Hurt the Ones We Love?
Professor Jennifer Hurley
5046

I believe that Shoba and Shukumar hurt each other purely out of pain and confusion from their tremendous loss. They loved each other once, but their grief caused them both to spiral. Instead of putting in the work to cope with their grief, they mostly ignored it, never getting closure. Shoba threw herself into work, and pulled away from Shukumar. Meanwhile Shukumar accepted this distance, even actively adding to it in choosing to set up his office in the room that would have been the baby’s nursery, knowing that Shoba hated going in that room. I agree with your point in your last paragraph, that this story can serve as a cautionary tale, or “as a reminder […]to act in ways that support love.” While I don’t see Shoba and Shukumar’s separation as either person’s fault, it definitely could have been avoided if either (or both) of them had put in the work to help them self and their partner cope with their grief together.

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