The transgender ideology is regressive, and promotes and adherence and enforcement to the gender roles women have fought for decades to dismantle. Often transpeople will consider themselves a certain dichotomized “gender” based on how they dress and act, when the entire point of feminism is to abolish these strict roles into which we socialize people. For you to coddle transgendered individuals and tell them that their choices are valid, you too are reinforcing gendered socialization by letting others define what a “man” is and what a “woman” is by how they dress and how they act, because it ultimately ends up leading to them acting out the stereotypes of these two genders. If you can’t see how that is harmful, then I don’t think you’ve really thought about what you’re saying. For you to think that there is no difference between a transwoman and a woman is to thoroughly disregard the socialization both undergo from the day they are born into a certain box, which informs they way they learn to see the world and treat themselves as well as the people into it.