Me, Asleep Again

When my parents wanted to get me to sleep as a baby, they would put me in the car seat and take me for a drive. Now, I was not very good at sleeping let me tell you, and my parents had to do the whole car trick nearly every day. So, I got used to it — maybe too used to it — because as I grew up every time I was the passenger in a car, plane, boat, train… you name it, I would immediately fall asleep.

In high school I went on a trip with my French class to Paris, and there is an album on Facebook completely dedicated to photos of me sleeping. I am sure plenty of people are jealous of my ability to conk out during a 12-hour plane ride, but this transportation and motion induced narcolepsy is a CURSE. Try missing out on seeing the Eiffel Tower light up at night because you’re passed out on a boat, or having someone steal your underwear at a foreign laundromat because you’re passed out on top of the washing machine.

I’m not sure where the worst place I fell asleep was (San Francisco BART was probably the most dangerous), but I do know the worst person I fell asleep on. I was on my way back from India when I was seated on the plane next to this Australian man who had spent a month camping in the Himalayas… and he had not taken a shower since he had started his trip. This dude was rank, he smelled the way a rotten bologna sandwich in a gym locker would smell, and I gasped for breath as he bragged about how the trip had taken him to a new plane of existence.

Luckily for me I was also taken to a new plane of existence in just a couple of minutes of the plane taking off, because I could not listen to this guy ramble any more. When I woke up, I realized that I had not only fallen asleep on the guy, but he had taken the liberty of laying me down in his lap and leaning over to fall asleep on my back. Creepy? Check. Even creepier? The other passengers on the plane who were taking pictures and videos of me snoring on this dude. Yikes.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.