Hitchhiking 101

Matan Bostick
Nov 7 · 10 min read

Finding Matan #2

Anyone ever been hitchhiking before? If you’re like me, you probably learned at a young age that hitchhiking was a dangerous activity that was no longer safe in modern-day America. As my dad likes to tell me, you’re making yourself available to perverts”.

Well, here in Australia, everything seems to be about 10–30 years behind. Casual racism is surprisingly present, 3G internet connections are common, and it’s still safe to be picked up on the side of the highway by a complete stranger!

So far, I’ve hitchhiked 7 different times. You could say I’m pretty much a hitchhiking expert at this point. Alright, maybe not quite an expert, but I’ve already learned 5 valuable rules that I’m now going to share with you.

Rule #1: Making a sign dramatically increases your chances of getting a ride.

People are way more likely to pick you up when they have an inkling of where you are going. When I was in Hawaii, I would often see hitchhikers sticking out their thumbs and pass them by without giving it a second thought.

Now, that was partially because most of them were creepy looking old meth heads, but I also had no idea where they were going. If I’m picking up some random person off the side of the road, I prefer having some expectation of how long I’m going to be stuck with them.

The first time I tried hitchhiking here in Bellingen, I waited for half an hour. Just when I was about to give up, an old Australian bloke in a ute picked me up and promptly told me that I needed a sign unless I enjoyed “sweating my balls off”. But sometimes you just have to learn things the hard way.

A few days later, I hitchhiked to the nearby town of Urunga. At least, I’d planned to do so. Declan had other ideas for me. He was a high-energy, talkative mate who had moved here from Ireland when he was 18. After explaining to me how he made his fortune selling knockoff Apple computers back in the 1980s, he took me to Sawtell, 14 miles north of where I’d planned to go.

Sawtell Beach

His reason for taking me there was because “Urunga has shit beaches” and Sawtell has the “most beautiful beach” in the area. As you can see, he wasn’t wrong.

However, after spending a few hours at this beach, I realized I hadn’t made a sign to take me back to Bellingen.

It was 6:30 PM, getting dark, and I had been waiting on the side of the road for 40 minutes in a tank top and swim trunks. In a panic, I weighed whether I should begin the 19 mile hike back to Bellingen or if I should start looking for materials to build a shelter.

Thankfully, I was eventually saved by a benevolent middle-aged man who told me that because he had hitchhiked as a young man, he felt it was his duty to the “hitchhiking gods” to stop for anyone who needed help. He took me much closer to town, and I quickly caught another ride back to Bellingen.

So, remember, it’s important to make a sign for where you’re going AND where you came from.

Rule #2: Try to look as non-threatening as possible.

For women, this rule isn’t as important because people are more likely to trust women hitchhikers. But, if you’re a man, this is extremely applicable because remember, men are responsible for like 90% of all violent crimes.

For all your potential hitchhiking benefactors may know, you could be a sketchy meth head who’s about to rob them for their next fix. (Don’t smoke meth)

When I’m standing on the side of the road, peering into oncoming traffic, I smile and try to emanate this energy:

“aw shucks aw gee whiz mister I just need a ride pretty please I promise I’m a nice fella”.

Think this sort of energy.

Even then, at least 10 different people have glared suspiciously at me and shook their heads in disapproval. Almost saying to me something like:

“How irresponsible of you, you fucking ruffian. Don’t even dream of sniffing the rancid odor emitting from all the shit littering the interior of my vehicle. I hope you wait all goddamn day. Fuck you.”

I always laugh at the absurdity of someone shaking their head at me as they speed by. You already made it clear you weren’t picking me up when you didn’t start slowing down at all. Also, your disapproval has literally no impact on my decision making. But you learn to appreciate the honesty.

Rule #3: Try to lower the possibility of being murdered or abducted.

I want to preface this rule by saying the odds of a horrible thing happening to you are extremely low and I’ve never felt in danger any of the 7 times I’ve hitchhiked. Alright, now that’s out of the way, let’s get to the dark shit.

This is hopefully the rule that your parents think is most important.

But regardless of your relationship with your parents, this is a very important rule to keep in mind. You are literally putting your life in a stranger’s hands.

They could accidentally crash the car, run you over, abduct you, sell you into slavery, or even murder you.

Sorry, that got kinda dark. But you can’t forget.

That being said, me and many other travelers of all backgrounds have experienced some of the most memorable, interesting, joyful, and thoughtful conversations from hitchhiking. I’ll get to that later, though.

I learned Rule #3 the first time I ever hitchhiked. After waiting for 30 minutes (see Rule #1), I was picked up by an old man in a ute. For the first 15 minutes of the ride, the conversation was mostly pleasant small talk revolving around the weather, kangaroos, and him draft dodging the Vietnam War.

You know, normal small talk stuff.

Aforementioned Ute

At that point, my new friend apparently got more comfortable and we got talking about America.

When you’re an American abroad, people will always want to talk about the States. You can never truly escape America.

When he asked what it was like to live in such a “multiracial country”, I knew I might be in trouble. Trying to be polite, I asked if he’d ever been to the US; he replied “No”. What he said next shocked and disgusted me.

In complete seriousness, he told me about how his friends visited New Orleans and “got stuck in a n**** bar”.

And then I remembered how my life was entirely in this stranger’s hands.

With a nervous laugh, I quietly replied, “That’s not really OK to say anymore back home”. He didn’t seem to understand. Desperately, I searched my mind for a new, non-race related topic, before somehow settling on guns.

You know, something not controversial at all.

(Side note: Some people here are legitimately afraid to visit the US because they think they’re going to be shot. Seriously.)

Before I left the car, he (of course) asked me what I thought about Trump. I responded, “He’s a motherfucker and a cancer to our society. America has a lot of difficult problems, but fixing them starts with getting rid of him.”

To which he said, “You think so? I reckon he’s doing a pretty good job.”

Thankfully, we reached the national park where I was heading and I got the fuck out of that situation. There’s a few takeaways from this interaction.

First, Americans need to remember that we are representing our country when we’re abroad. I know that I want to be remembered as someone who stands up for his core values while also not being a loud, obnoxious prick who has no respect for the country I’m visiting.

I want people to meet me and think, “Huh, Americans aren’t as stupid as I thought.”

I doubt that guy would have harmed me but sometimes it’s not worth trying to change the mind of a 70 year-old racist. Save contentious debates for more neutral locations, like hostels!

Hitchhiking back from the national park, I was picked up by a young couple. I followed Rule #4 (see below) and learned invaluable life lessons from just those 30 minutes in the car with them.

She was visiting from India and told me how they’d been in a cafe that morning and there was a guy who talked to literally everyone there except for her. Probably not a coincidence.

Talking to her helped me understand the old man probably wouldn’t have even picked me up if I had darker skin. It reminded me not to forget my privilege and to be humble.

Rule #4: See the value in every interaction and ask people about their lives.

This rule doesn’t just apply to hitchhiking. If you don’t approach life without inherent curiosity you’ll never grow or see the beauty of this world. And this world is certainly beautiful. There’s a lot of ugliness in life but never forget the world is what you make it.

Every person I’ve rode with, even the racist old man, has taught me something valuable or shaped my perspective. Each person you come across in life has something to teach you, whether it’s intentional or not. Maybe you can even offer them some value, too.

I think I offered Annie value when she picked me up for a brief 10 minute ride. The first thing I noticed were the baby seats in the back and the assortment of items strewn throughout the car. The next thing I noticed was that she wasn’t wearing a wedding band.

Annie asked me a few questions about my life and travels, and I told her that I was amazed by how quickly life changes.When I asked her what she was doing in the Bellingen area, she told me all about her divorce, previously working for Amnesty International in Brisbane, and the challenges of being a single mom.

Aware that she had just spilled her life story to a random hitchhiker, she said:

“Oh gosh, this feels like a therapy session.”

I laughed and told her I was happy to be her therapist. For the rest of the ride, I listened and learned about her hopes, dreams, fears, and challenges. At the end, we wished each other good luck and continued on our separate paths.

Hearing about Annie’s life put my own challenges into perspective and left me with an intensely positive feeling. Even though we were total strangers who knew each other for all of 10 minutes, we shared a deep, human connection.

If you are a curious hitchhiker, you are bound to expand your knowledge of humanity and yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask people questions.

Rule #5: Go with the flow.

Sometimes your plans don’t go the way you intended. When that happens, don’t panic, think, and figure out an alternative. You’ll be OK.

A few days ago, I wanted to complete the Never Never track in Dorrigo National Park. After hitchhiking to the visitor center, I discovered the trailhead was actually 10 kilometers down a dirt road. It would be highly unlikely to catch a ride back out of that remote part of the park.

My plans were fucked.

Instead of panicking, I went out to the parking lot and started looking for a ride to Dangar Falls, which was further down the highway. I wasn’t worried because I’d remembered Rule #1 and preemptively made a sign for Bellingen.

After a few false starts and disapproving head shakes, I got a ride from an Israeli couple who were in the area for a wedding. For those of you who don’t know, I’m half-Israeli and fluent in Hebrew, so this was very exciting!

Dangar Falls baby!

We ended up linking up with another Israeli couple (and their hilarious toddler) at Dangar Falls and spent the rest of the afternoon speaking Hebrew, drinking beer, and basking in the warm, Australian sunlight.

Just from spending a few hours with these random people, I learned about a wide variety of things, ranging from the best bars in Melbourne to what it was like to work for the disruptive startup, TransferWise. And I got to swim under that incredible waterfall!

Don’t be discouraged if your initial hitchhiking plans don’t work out. Think of it as an opportunity to develop your critical thinking skills and end up on a completely spontaneous, unplanned adventure. Who knows, maybe it’ll be better than whatever you wanted to do originally.

Bonus Rule: Don’t be a cheap bastard, do yourself a favor, and buy a fucking car.

Of course, if you either don’t have the funds or you’re content with being a cheap bastard (2 perfectly acceptable reasons), then happy hitchhiking!

Thanks so much for reading this post. Please share with me your thoughts, follow me on Medium, or give this a clap? Idk how this SEO shit works.

Check out this song from one of my favorite artists (FKJ but I like Bas too) and read that book. It really inspired me. Also, hit me up with any ideas you might be interested in hearing me write about. Until next time.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

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