Perhaps all the ‘pressure’ you’re feeling is really coming from inside… and the rest is simply all the ‘reasons’ you tell yourself (aka, Society, Communication, Family, Social Media, ‘Men’, etc.).
But underneath it all, mostly just sounds like you’re the one who’s making the choice to be hard on yourself.
Maybe time to simply ignore all the ‘expectations’, and instead figure out what you want…. or is that really the problem to begin with?