Pissing On Death

i felt a weight on my shoulder,

and a ton of agony,

even feeling like some sort of kinky thing,

i could fuck you senseless,

all you wanted,

let’s get nasty and dream about life,

and we should piss on death,

if not that, at least straddle it,

like a month of burning romance,

though it felt like two weeks,

settling into the pit of sorrow, but it wasn’t sorrow,

more like rage in the bane of existence,

and late night drunken stupor,

and evolving and learning every single trick you can before you burst.

abandoned buildings holding secrets and pain,

shuffling into a chill,

drilling a hole in a writing room, or a small closet,

a small chunk of destiny peeled back to see the grotesque face of reality,

I would lose my erection if you disappeared,

so let me plea my case once more,

I could burden you with my humor,

and with the way I swallow all my hurt like swallowing pills,

and the long sleep will not kill me if your mind was at ease,

and only held me, but let’s be reasonable at best,

drinking until isolation makes a ton of sense,

clear for another redemption, I could kill myself but I still want to annoy the fuck out of you.

I would harm myself but my dreams laugh at me in my sleep,

when no one is meant to love you, or are they?

Two decades from now will time stop for the both of us,

and come straddling us into each other’s broken, busted withering arms,

and come cradling your universe to my shame,

and my soul burning still in your name,

so cheesy, but isn’t this so promising, don’t you think?

i could sweat all this anxiety out and forget the fuck out of you,

you know I could, but do I really want to?

Miles and miles away, distance is just a bruise or a pinch in the chest,

I see divinity in all the lies, I stick around for you and you alone,

and so eventually, you can cum on my face,

or perhaps, even better,

as we grow older, and love sustains the impact it had those years ago,

we can piss on death, and you can tell me all my hopes were never hidden,

just waiting for a destination after this shitty journey we shared is at its end.