Christianity is a Lonely Road

It’s hard being a christian guy keeping morals that are people’s everyday activities. It can be lonely.

I don’t feel myself today there are many moments in which I have felt like giving up, somehow believing that to quit would relieve that which I feel. I’ve been excluded, forgotten, am I not supposed to be used by God. Am I not called to be a voice for these last times. I see within myself an overwhelming sadness like no other to feel like I am not wanted that only the select few are called to do something for the Lord in these last times while I sit and watch from the sidelines.

Looking back I didn’t always feel this way. I grew up in a a great Church down in Deltona, Florida and I was brought up by a pastor who showed me to fear the Lord and to honor him with my works. Back then the Lord spoke to me, he gave me the desire to help others reach salvation. I remember the day I received a prophetic word from God like it was yesterday, that you are called to make a difference in the youth and one day you will be an example to thousands. I remember when my pastor called me after that to be a youth leader at only 13 and I rejected it. I was ashamed I always wanted to fit in with everyone else be part of the group, to feel like I too belonged. From them on I decided within myself that living for God shouldnt never be doubted. I died a little when I received the news that everyone in that youth group lost their way. I blame myself for not being strong enough, for not being there when my friends gave up on Church. Now all I can ask myself is Where do I Belong? When does the suffering stop? Did my Father forget me? What is my Calling?

I am the real Lone Soldier. Im fighting this fight with no backup, no brother in sight. Im not just fighting the enemy but also friendly fire. Ive been wounded by those closest and my back is a canvas of scars.

Everyone around have ministries in the church being used by God for a higher purpose while my youth is wasting away. I now realize that position is in heaven not on earth. La cizaña y el Trigo crecerán juntos? So why is there more cizaña in leadership? I don’t understand what God has planned for these times but we must prevail.

The reason why Christianity is lonely is because, when you are a true christian those who aren’t will abandon you on the battle field. Just remember one thing….

Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world.

p.s. be aware that this is not meant to be destructive but meant to be used to reflect on your own life. God Bless.