Lord, i felt like i am pleasing people more than You and i felt like i am disappointing them and i am really down. Pagod nako honestly emotionally and mentally. I need a constant reminder that i don’t have to prove myself to anybody because You’ve already redeemed me. I need to rethink and reconnect to my mantra that i have an audience of One.

I felt that for the longest time i need an affirmation that i am doing a good job or i am doing the right thing from some tangible people that matters to me and if i don’t get it, i become frustrated. I have been praying for a change of heart or even to open up to someone but i really am having a hard time. I project myself strong to everyone else and losing my armor means weakness to me. I felt like all those times that i stand up to myself, to be independent, to be a leader will crumble when i let my guard down. The worst part is that i know that it’s wrong, it’s not healthy for the soul but still my prideful human heart still wins. I am lost.

I just needed that one person to listen, just listen and be there, he/she doesn’t have to comment or advise but simply to listen and that’s enough.