COVID-19 Brings More Family Time
Do you remember the cribs from children and spouses that you were not devoting any time to the family? The COVID-19 crisis has changed that — literally overnight. The lockdown since March has been lifted partially.
So how do families continue to cope with seeing each other 24 hours. Spouses who saw each other for just a few hours in the morning and evening, are now in each other’s space. Children find parents supervising their activities more closely, since they cannot be at school or college or at work.
The first few days would have been fun. Children were delighted that their mummies and daddies can play games with them, cook them their favourite meals, watch movies with them. Spouses happy over plenty of ME-TIME.
Gradually, the excitement may have begun to disappear. Suddenly, we are in each other’s face. As the joke going around says, work from home is suddenly work at home. With no domestic help, parents are suddenly having to cook four meals (breakfast, lunch, tea-time snack and dinner), clean, do the laundry, water the garden, and many more tasks. Children too may find their space crammed. Televisions need to be shared; internet slows down as everybody is on it. One child said on television that it was much more fun at school, than being at home.
Says Sociologist Eric Klinenberg, on Christian Amanpour’s program: “This is a very hard time to be living alone. But It’s also a very hard time to be living together. We are all reeling from this transformation.”
So how are families coping, and adapting to maintain sanity? Karuna Baskar, Counsellor, says: “We’re supposed to be feeling happy about the quality time. But there can be too much of a good thing! Especially when we’re just not used to it. Especially in families where both parents are working, it is so unusual to see each other for 18 hours.”
The most important thing, says Karuna, is to develop routines, that should include time apart from each other. “Work in separate rooms for instance, if that’s an option. And spending some time with kids requires you to set some boundaries so that kids entertain themselves for a while without requiring parents to be with them all the time. Give the children some suggestions of chores to do but then leave them to it. Get everyone involved in the work that needs to be done at home.”
For those who travel on business, life has become more relaxed, more time to pursue hobbies that there was no time for before. However, it all comes down to following a routine, as Karuna suggests.
Mahathi Parashuram, Regional Head — Public Affairs, Communications & Engagement, Asia Pacific Region at Grundfos, says that planning the family’s day works: “Through the week, the first half of the day is spent on homeschooling them (along with the other chores). We work from home too so that helps us keep sane. Lot of cooking, baking and other activities with the kids too (including various crafts stuff). I have been knitting and stitching rag dolls. Mom and husband read a lot. Have gotten my dad to start colouring in my colouring book… so that keeps him occupied too. We have also been binge watching — movies, documentaries and shows.”
Ronita Sachdev, Freelance Writer, says it’s fun to find creative ways to do things. Like her daughter Aahana is learning tables through dance; she has also begun paint rocks, and is even learning to make rotis.
Saloni and Suri Yashpal, retired chartered accountants, love writing. Their advice: “Savor the leisure and enjoy hobbies’ pleasure. Have been evolving to minimalist living and travelling, here is some extra time to shed extra baggage and paraphernalia.”
This is a lovely time to bring out your photo albums, and enjoy the joy of especially travelling. Saloni says, “We have been budget travellers and nomads, and have travelled over past two decades by road all across Incredible India, from Leh to Kanyakumari & from Rann of Kutch to Jaigaon (Indo-Bhutan border).”
Mary Paul, Counsellor, suggests: “Maybe it’s a good time to switch roles. Each take turns to cook, do the laundry, dishes and other chores, so there’s no boredom. You may not get such times together.”
Freelance writer Ronita Sachdev says: “Lockdown is the key to all shortcut culinary adventures in the Dutta Sachdev household these days.”
Mary advocates to rest more, read books, run or dance inside the home or do some physical exercise.
To help families find the joy of being together , mother and son duo Diana and Richard Tholoor began online everyday dance lessons. “Salsa, Bachata, Bollywood, Bhangra, Free Style for kids, classes for the whole family for beginners, intermediate and advanced dancers and special sections for the seniors. I am so happy to be a part of my son, Richard’s endeavour to bring joy into the lives of people direct into their living rooms and energize them.” @richard david tholoor. While the free dance classes continue, you can also register on +91–9449816581 for a one-on-one online dance class for a fee.
Ronita helps keep sane by doing these three activities: “A lot of deep breathing and telling oneself ‘this too shall pass’, taking solitary walks within the compound and a lot of FaceTime with friends in the same situation.”
Karuna agrees: “Stay in touch with friends and colleagues virtually … so that you are relating to others as well. As Kahlil Gibran said, ‘Let there be spaces in your togetherness’!”
