Maid of Honor Undeserving of Title
An undisclosed source says Daphne Eriksen, current favorite for maid of honor, is the wrong choice and that there should be a “proper contest” for the position.
Amid the uncertainty caused by Christine’s decision to marry Ted (yes, that Ted), it’s been suggested that all other candidates are no longer being considered. But when reached for comment, the bride expressed that she wants nothing to do with rumors linking Daphne to the position.
“I still haven’t made my decision yet, but hope to by the end of this week,” said Christine, who, again, is marrying Ted. She went on to admit reports surrounding the process are dividing her friends.
The same source, who is close to the process, claims Daphne is not qualified for the position, citing her pleasant & easy-going nature as not fitting with the circle. “Besides,” said the source. “She doesn’t have one of the locket pieces that form into one giant locket when they’re together. And she’s a colleague. What the fu-”
Daphne vowed that, should she be chosen, she would give the position her all, but disagrees with the notion that the candidate would be determined by a majority.
“I mean, at the end of the day it’s Christine’s decision,” commented Daphne, who admitted that she wasn’t that close with the bride.
It’s that type of diplomacy that has Eriksen far ahead of all her rivals based on current family endorsements.
But recent developments have cast the potential decision in a new light. When offered the theory that Daphne’s appointment was a neutral one meant to avoid hurting any of the BFFs, Ana, who’s been best friends with Christine since high school, agreed.
“It would be shocking, but then she is getting back together with Ted. And after what happened, I mean…” offered the HR assistant.
Laura, who claims to have been best friends with Christine since elementary school, shrugged off the notion, only suggesting “that could be the case, but still, it’s a colleague. I mean, what the fu-”
It’s the beautiful and elegant Monique (who asserts that she became fast friends with Christine in daycare) who is more hurt than anything about the process.
“I just want her to be happy,” wept the stunning, award-winning journalist. “I think I’d be a wonderful maid of honor but it’s important that people remember that Christine’s getting married, and to Ted none-the-less, not them.”
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